All Comments on 'After Dinner Activities'

is this what you would like done to you Kristin ?

Told, obviously, completing from the guy's point of view. I would have preferred knowing what the woman (not "women") was feeling and thinking, especially if the story is a fantasy of yours.

Get an editor, or take the time to have someone proofread what is a decent quick tale of presumably consensual abuse. Create a better, hotter and smoothly written story. Editing is worth the time. Keep writing.

This KristinW is a guy. Among other things, no "over 18" female continually misspells "woman". Author's location is left blank. I'd confidently bet on it being in the US.

Woman != Women.

Agree with previous commenters completely. Why bother spending the time writing this if you're not going to even *try* to make people want to read it?

Proofread. Edit. Do it right.

I am a Woman, and yes I would Love to have this done to me! For those who didn't like it, get over it, it was just a story.

If this isn't what you like that doesn't mean others don't. I, for one, loved it. And I'm a woman. If there are spelling errors that doesn't invalidate the entire fantasy.