by OpenField
Made me imagine floating with someone I wanted to be floating with. Snake and poled interesting word play.
Nicely done! Hope to read more from you. I don't why my comment's coming up as anonymous; I'm greenmountaineer.
I like the image in this poem, I've grown up by actual bayous, those cypress knees covered in lichen. Good poem. However, the word, "Liquidly" reads a little clunky to me, maybe something better than an adjective would move smooth like a snake through the waters.
ending last line as just
Yes, there.
I see a case for Liquidly either way
5ed with no hemhaws
this feels like ee cummings meets Neruda to me. The language is so soothing to the point of being mesmerizing, which really works with that last snaky line that comes like danger out of nowhere. Delicious writing and I hope to read more of yours.
images. I could envision your trip on the river. The only thing that bugs me is each line beginning with caps, but hey, its a great poem, who cares about caps, right? :)
excellent work
NJ