All Comments on 'Noxii'

Was enjoyable, but the suspension of disbelief was difficult. I kept thinking that this miracle drug/procedure that Mia's mom developed (if it was her) was far beyond normal science. 4*

Val

Oh no, for this story Disbelief is expelled for the school year with an option for a second. For all we know that drug isn't chemistry - its alchemy. This is a bizarre (hopefully) funny tale about an unlikely hero who loves a girl...who wants to rule the world. I do not admit to taking any non-prescription drugs while creating this tale either. Nope, I'm not going back the asylum this time. They will never take me alive!!!

Makes me wish there was a like button for comments.

Oh, what a wonderful imagination you have. Enjoyed it very much!

This little story is set-up nicely to take so many turns, keep adding to it.

Keep up the good work

This and other edit issues made this story a marginal read.

Anonymous: Marginal read?

That is quite the pompous comment.

If you want perfection you probably prefer in vitu fertilization to sex, too - and I am ok with that. To each his own. Go read the Encyclopedia Brittanica instead.

For the rest of us who are capable of disregarding the occasional flaw, please continue FinalStand.

:-)

I hope to see you continue this story eventually

This was a fun read please keep it going.

Good groundwork, now write the story! It is much easier to do the setup, and frequently that is as far as we get. The difficult part is the followup and then the ending, and they are the more important parts of the story ...at least to the readers.

GandolfTheWise

Good start this could go so many ways. Please expand and develop the story.

I have enjoyed most of your stories. This one was a great mix of humor and horror. I truly hope you are planning to continue this story.

I like this premise so much betterthan One in Ten's. Hopefully, this turns into a series too.

The premise is pretty silly, but could have worked if the dialogue was better written, it has no subtlety, and a lot of simply doesn't sound like anything people would say, even taking the setting into consideration.

The ones that are not psycho or drugged and mind controlled are aliens (like the movie "The Faculty")?

Telling that sperm are viable by taste seems like a more than or other than human ability.

... while this story is meant to be nonsensical, I was aiming to suggest the low sperm count of the affected males left their sperm 'watery' while Jason's was thicker, milkier thus 'viable'. Since I didn't write that ... whoops ... my mistake.

FYI, I am in no way, manner, or shape suggesting you 'fuck off', and/or 'die'. Everyone is free to comment about their opinions and perceptions of my tales. I don't know what happened on Yahoo (I read your Bio), but this is the freaking internet. People need to accept others are going to say things we might not like. I'm adult enough to post my story and you posted something more than 'you suck' ~ explaining what you deem as a fault in my story. I hope, if you read more of my works, you find them more enjoyable. If not; comment away. Hopefully I'll learn to make fewer mistakes.

James aka FinalStand

This story is absolutely hillarious, entertaining, enjoyable, and worthwhile. You have something going on, whether it is a parasite, this boxing, some sort of chemical, or what not I love it. As stories go it has what anyone could want. Drama in the form of Jason loving Penny but having to fight against her, comedy in the situation and how it evolves and he takes control of it. This is very much reminiscent of body snatchers or the faculty. I still hope more will come. Will he make it out of this weekend? Will he discover what is really going on? Is his mom and other women in town under the influence or just his school body? Will traci get pregnant? So much fun to be had.

I hope you have a full recovery and one day return to writing. Until then, thank you for your work.

I have enjoyed this little bit of fun but I do hope that you can continue with this one at some point. I'm curious about what influences you draw on in writing this story and if the muse is still whispering in your ear. I hope so.

Thank you again,

Dan

I have taken a few stabs at continuing this tale ... along with so many others. My greatest influence is Anime and various 'High School' epics where the 'Fate of the World' devolves down to a hapless hero wholly unprepared for the test before him.

I actually like writing Anime-themed stories though they are not overly 'porny' so I haven't submitted them here, or anywhere. If you are interested, drop me a line.

** Veteran readers, please don't get angry ~ some of these stories have been sitting on my 'drawing board' for nearly two years**

[refers to word count]

If you do, as me about "Blades" [23 K + 20 K], "Damsel" [18.3K], "Drones, Clones & the Master Race" [10 K], "Fängelse i Vildmarken (Prison in the Wilderness)" [19K], Fall of the House of the Lion" [18K], Far from Home" [19 K + 36 K + 22 K], Reaping What you Sow" [25 K] and "Oh No! " [16K + 19.8 K + 11.4K] and "If this is a Harem Story" [28 K + 4.6 K] which all have varying degrees of Anime influence, if not outright theft.

James aka FinalStand

James, you weave a beautiful story. But it is painful to start each story and not end it. Please complete some of these stories!!

This is like a beefed up "Faculty" or "Body Snatchers". How far has this stretched? Is his school the only one affected right now like Faculty? or like Body Snatchers were there multiple infiltration sites? Is this alien/microbe/parasitic influence? Or is this Boxing involved to make women more dominant? While Penelope stated she wouldn't burn her bridges for Jason, in that last moment when she is laughing because he used Traci to distract everyone and escape, could she have seen maybe a glimpse of error in her way with the combination of what he said to her? If the teachers are infected, and have been for almost a year, does that mean mothers are infected too? Was Jason's dad drawn away for the weekend because of the plan to claim the last male student in Jason's clique? Is our hero a double billion dollar man(Recently started re-watching Trigun)? Can the women be defeated? Can the change that has happened be reversed? Would we want to reverse the change?

This is why I think this is so much better than One in Ten. So many questions, so many possibilities. I know you're going through a lot right now James, and I hope you get through it. However, I do hope you get to this story in the years to come. You're an insightful, creative, and wonderful writer. I relish every chance I get to read your works.

That's a fucking were story dude.interesting but wierd.

Dude yours stories are awesome i love the amazon series but this one looks like it could be another great story about the lone male vs evil bitchs xD keep up the great reads man.

... thank you very much for the praise. I'm also writing again after a long absence though not on this story.

James aka FinalStand

wishing you the best of health and happiness (and a strong compulsion to write and publish lots more with your wonderful imagination).

Seems sorta like a prelude to what Life as a New Hire became.

Wondering if I'm right on that or not.

JC

... you might have something there. I hadn't considered it, but my desire to write stories where guys confront 'femdom' and overcome it, or escape from it, had to have roots somewhere and this tale certainly predates LNNH. Hmmmm ...

Thanks for bringing this up and take care,

James aka FinalStand

Only someone already in your crazy world could understand what you're trying to convey.

There are no rational limits, nothing to draw inferences from, no answers for how fucked up this guy's greater world has become, no explanations for why he'd different (other than "he had cancer").

Trying to see where this story is going is impossible, and I'm glad you've posted no continuation.

(Else, the compulsive reader in me would torture himself to death by continuing to hit his head against your frustrating wall of words.)

2nd time reading this. Enjoyed immensely but wish you had a follow-up or 3....

Jason wanted to just get thru Highschool and go to College,but a Maniacal Femdom came and brainwashed all the other students,and even Penelope who claimed to love Jason,but she got seduced by power and turned evil and was going to literally kill Jason's personality to make him her servant or pet.

But Jason ultimately betrayed Penelope by giving his virginity to Tracy,and destroying Penelope's chance of getting Jason's v card.So Jason got a small bit of justice to know Penelope lost her chance to be with Jason.I am not sure if Jason succeeded in stopping the World Domination but maybe he converted some to fight.As for Penelope I hope she learned love can't be taken thru dominance or force.

this needs a sequel. interesting world you have, I'd like to think I'd have a shot at surviving. might not have his parkour skills, but give me ear protection and a pistol or military/left handed ar-15 and I'll be good, a karambit or fairbairn sykes would also be perfectly fine

phoenix23ninja ...

... I was working on a sequel, but didn't like the way it was progressing and haven't been back to it since. Sigh.

I think this one dropped a bit for me when he found out she literally poisoned him while he was dying and he was just like "iight cool"

And at like.. no point does he try and defend himself? Just feels odd.. he's like, weirdly passive and submissive, while trying not to be passive and submissive.

Classic Final Stand! Cael has a brother. The craziness (but such positive craziness!) defines your best works I think. Much success to you sir!