All Comments on 'Valerie'

Kinda— maybe more than kinda— fucked up relationship. But still a well-written description. Very good dialog.

Needs a part 2.

Would like to see how 2 damaged people could fix themselves.

good work

You write a mean story (in every sense of mean)...Brilliant, wonderful, touching, enigmatic! Your touch is sure....never too much, never too little. Every word counts. Every gesture is important. Your work is beyond my poor ability to offer praise!!!!! I hate it when your subtle writing compells me to use exclamation points in a poor effort to express my admiration!!!!!!!!!!

that I am overwhelmed by your ability to craft a story. I was put into the wedding scene, the bar scene, Valerie's hotel room, Michael's head (but not that much) into Valerie's head.

I have only one complaint....please. please don't toy with this reader (at least) too much. Tell us sooner not later what happens to Lucy and Mark.

Crap

This story story is off to be one of your best! I'm Micheal (at least my life was) except I didn't get the second chance! I love this story and really hope you don't keep us hanging like some authors do!

I don't know which one of your stories I want first this one or "a rush of blood to the head"!

You have the gift. Surely you are or could be a professional writer. This is your best work on lit. The ending is just perfect and so full of hope. This is a stand alone story and doesn't need a sequel - but please give us more!

Great story but at the end I still don't know what happened back then. Yeah, he hurt her some way, some how but this reader didn't catch what happened and was hoping it would be revealed somewhere in your words. Alas, I still wonder.....and too lazy to search the story for answers I may have missed.

I wasn't expecting to be emotionally drawn into a story while at the same time enjoying the perfect blend of sexuality and desire. God, you are a gifted writer. Some of the ways that you expressed yourself in single sentences were poetic...hugging the sun? Brilliant.

Was going to stop reading towards the beginning, but found myself drawn in to see what happens. You dont usually find this type of excellent writing in here. Way to go!

and the author's skill at conveying character and plot through dialog is obvious .. the challenge is that it requires a delicate touch. So much is implied in so few words that there is always the problem of loose ends to tie up. Especially with a very short story, it only takes a few words here and there to create a nagging feeling that the ending doesn't quite work.

I don't mean an ambiguous or hanging ending .. those are fine. I mean an ending that doesn't quite hang true with the hints and nuances in the rest of the story.

Without going into detail of listing the key sentences that served as plot pivot points, I was led in a particular direction and was left with an ending that didn't feel right. So I had to juggle my prior expectations and came up with this result:

Even though the story is told from the point of view of the male protagonist, the story reads as a fantasy of the female protagonist, spurned, still in love, still resolved to 'save' the bad boy. Thus, her fantasy that he really loves her, really needs her, and she will prove it.

Weird, I know, but this is how I make sense of it all.

Another brilliantly written story!!!!!!!!!

The roller coasters at Cedar Point are nothing compared to the rides your stories deliver.

Thank you,

M1*****

...that I didn't even say.

...that I didn't even steal.

What a great writer!

5*

Best regards,

-Pultoy

This is a great story. You captured the male voice perfectly - something you rarely do. The reader like Michael doesn't know where Valerie's head is. The way you used a common dilemma, bumping into an ex that ended badly with a twist that the relationship involved Michael's best friend/her brother Tom. Shifting the relationship from the cock man to the now nervous changed man and Valerie from the blushing girl to a mysterious woman.

I'm content with leaving this story where it is. It is highly unlikely that a future relationship will workout well. Both of them have changed. Michael has changed into a more loyal, mature person (I liked the scene where the aroused Michael was willing to stop and prevent Valerie from cheating on her new boyfriend). Valerie has changed as well. She has apparently healed herself from the damage Michael caused but in the process is clearly not a loving person. Is she honest? Did she have an open relationship with her current boyfriend? If she loved Michael why wouldn't she communicate with him in a normal way?

A highly entertaining story. Thanks for your work.

Man, this was a painful read. ;)

No part two is required here, and no clarifications about his prior conduct. The enigma is part of what makes this story so damned great, not to mention character development, dialog, pacing. My fantasy, Valerie, is that making love with you would be as exquisite an experience as reading this story. Obviously, five stars.

DP

Well written, thanks. A part two please!

At least, that's what I want to believe. I prefer happy endings, although the relationship seems to be toxic.

My fingers are crossed. True Love can overcome, a lot.

You are a true magician of the written words. Gifted is the right word.

Needless to say, it's a 5.

Thanks & please keep sharing.

You've created quite a crumby male character here. The character is crumby, not the creation. Why would anyone want to be with that whiney self-absorbed person? Well written.

a bit of a wordsmith.

written and submitted about there years ago. Was there ever a second chapter?

This is how a second chance romance should be written. I'm reading all of your works in one go. The stepfather Chronicles and this one really got to me. Please keep on writing.

Beautiful story!

A great story. Would love to read part two. Perhaps part two was never ment to be???

at how much I enjoyed this, and in spite of what other comment writers have said I think these two people are on the road to something that could be serious and long lasting.

Jedd Clampett

I never much comment on stories, but this was powerfully written. It's a very strong emotional background with the erotica peppered in as a treat for the reader. Thank you for sharing this with the world.

Generally I do not care for the author’s habit of depicting wimpy men and outrageous women especially in the “Loving Wives” genre. But here both the skill of storytelling and compelling plot combine to showcase an outstanding talent. And the ability to do this in a relatively short, compact, story is as good as it gets on this website.

Really great story. Lots of emotion running thru this story. *****

loejtc's comment confused me. Tough understanding how anyone could call husband in ''A Rush of Blood...'' whiny or wimpy. Nor did I at anytime detect those attributes in Michael's character.

''I have no knowledge of words whose sound could touch if it were I could not. Nor do I have voice able enough to express such beauty as my eyes were blessed to behold!''

Once upon a blossoming love, I felt such thoughts for a woman.

I feel that self-same emotion when attempting to express my admiration for your talent!

This is my favorite story by this author. Very believable characters and situation. *****

When a story is as wonderfully presented such as this one is,the writer has a responsibility to finish it and not assume that the readers' imaginations can provide anywhere near as good a conclusion.

So sexy hot 🔥, so satisfying!

Thank you for your story.

A "Hey Jude" piece where you take a sad song and make it better.

How much better (or different) of a life would each of us have if we were given the opportunity to right one wrong from our youth? In the quiet moments at night where we, as "adults", relive the awful decisions we made back then when we were young, omniscient and invincible, only to cringe while we relive the consequences we somehow didn't foresee?

But, as has been stated ad infinitum here "Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions". At least you left a silver lining to the black cloud of Michael's bad decisions. Somewhere, my Michael has realized the rarity of that second chance.

I'd like to believe I'd do the same with my one chosen mistake, but I don't have you writing my fate.

..symphony of words. Good story but leaves us hanging. Gave it a 4

I like it even more the second time. Valerie the woman is so much stronger than Valerie the girl.

We have two lives - the life we learn with, and the life we live with after that - paraphrased from Glenn Close’s character in the movie “The Natural”.

I didn’t comment the first time, so I’ll just say thank you again.

Worthy of rereading often. Detractors should use their imaginations more.

Nice balance between story line and erotica. Enjoyed this story and others. Hope you continue to contribute.

complet. not real end.. slap hapy papy #9 another assnonemous comment

Title says it all--I have probably read over 1000 stories on Literotica and this is truly a piece of art. Writing is hellishly spot on. So well rounded and constantly pushes narrative forward. If I could give it above 5 stars I would.

Love your Passion!

Love that the backstory between the two is never made explicit, but we still get all the info that we need.

Loved this wonderful story, what a writer

He was an Ass, she was worse. Also hate the lack of an ending.

Hate stories with no ending.

He’s an asshole and she’s a bitch. No ending. Awesome 🙄

You drive me crazy as an author when you stop stories in mid stream. But that still doesn’t take away the excellence of your writing, your characters and each unique situation. Good work again.

Loved it!! Will there be a chapter 2???