All Comments on 'A Child for the Queen'

The idea was good and solid. You should have detailed and twist with deploying new characters and story lines. Examples for consideration: an assistant whom the hero falls in love with, danger, escape, and so on.

It seems that you have the potential to write well, but you really should proof-read, or take advantage of the volunteer editors. The poor English is distracting. Also it seems to me that it would be hotter if you had written more explicitly about some of the sex afterwards (maybe the women are really dominant - envisioning how casual dominance of women over men in a society where that was taken for granted and was the "right way" could be really interesting) instead of just plot-summarizing it. Thanks for sharing - write more!

An old fashioned (Sperm Bank)