All Comments on 'Life as a New Hire Ch. 27'

Yessss! I love it l. Yesss!

Damn that was a nice, long, enjoyable read. The length was perfect. This grand example of writing keeps me coming back for more. Utterly hooked on this series indefinitely. Outstanding job FinalStand!!! Can't wait for more to come.

Really outstanding. I was beginning to jones for a new chapter, but the result was worth the wait. I am so enjoying this story of yours and offer up my humble thanks.

You are an astoundingly good writer. I keep finding myself getting thrown into all sorts of new situations and gaining all sorts of new knowledge about this crazy, mixed-up world of yours and becoming completely and utterly lost. And then a few sentences later when my brain finally has the time to process everything it's being told, all that confusing shit snaps into place and makes perfect sense. I cannot believe how convoluted you manage to make what seemed at first to be a simple storyline, and yet it all manages to work out in the end. I humbly await the next chapter to discover what else you will be able to come up with using your absolute brilliance.

Your stories have been breath taking and action filled.

Keep up the great work!

When did u write that? Am i right assuming u made most of this chapter sooner than the one before it?

A great read and as a story is probably the best on this site.

Your style of writing has a way of drawing people in. You create such a vivid picture that you can see the characters within the mind, thereby creating a world that is yours alone and totally enthralling.

Five Stars +

Not a bad read, I'd say a very good, entertaining read. Fast-moving, but loses its rhythm somewhat at places. Perhaps - but who am I to suggest this to a master like you? - the Shammuramat backstory would have been better off in earlier chapters.

. . . yet again.

Once more you have draft an exquisite tale. Thank you! I'm a little confused where this leaves the illuminati / Cael but can't wait for the chance to reread it to try and work it out.

Damn... This story seems like an epic, in more ways then one. If you ever STOP writing this story, I am sure you'll have an epic number of readers hunting you down and making you finish the damn story... Ok I dont know what else to say ;) Keep the great works a coming, and to your 'editors' Thanks for keeping FS on track!

Man just amazing...not only is your stories awesome but they are also increasing my vocabulaury...😉

This was about ten pages to short. I can't wait for another submittal

當命運的命令

和榮譽需求

必有發現

慶祝活動和歌曲好評

在永恆宴廳

神聖與我們的祖先

You know they tell you not to hold your breath, right? It can only go on for so long, then you've got to breathe, right?

Well, now I can breathe again. Until I finish this chapter and start waiting.

This is sooo goood.

Every time I begin to worry that you've given up on finishing this story another chapter comes out, and this time its one with 10 pages. Very Very exciting. So thank you, and thank you again.

Its great to see another chapter. The excitement action. Twists turns. But most of all the interaction of all the characters.

I can not wait for the next installment.

First. Who else used google translate on Fanfare's comment? Show of hands?

Second. Who else here thinks this story is super totally awsome? Hands again? Let me just count. 1 2 carry the 6. Wait why did the 8 fall down? Can someone pick up the 8? No? Ok we'll just count him as infinity. Let's keep the story and the votes coming.

If i could give this 10 stars I would... you are a remarkable writer...another great job... I can not tell you how much I enjoy your stories.. thank you again

Fun and entertaining as always. Loved the flashback; it added a huge amount of richness that has (for the umpteenth time) revitalized and the story as a whole.

just asking ,during the flash back was it alal talking to black cloud and talking about a town near the Iranian border? if so that would be wrong since the name of iran didn't come about til during the 1930's. it means aryian as in the Nazi's it was also suggested by hitler to his friends in Persia at the time

As Usual.. fantastically written and a great story.. I look forward to the next installment.

Ignore the shaking hands and palsied skin. Was starting to get a bit twitchy waiting for this Ch. Now maybe I can get a good nights sleep without checking every thirty minutes to see if it was posted.

I may end up needing a 12 step program if you ever stop writing.

Be well my friend

Have been checking every day for days. Enjoyed the bumper Instalment. And yes, thank you for replying patiently to my queries about how you come up with your lines and the one line chapter introductions alongwith three fun conversations! Sigh...now to wait for chapter 28. I do sometime think I should go offline and read only every five chapters, but I might as well face, it. I am addicted.

SHAMMEH~! is going to be one of the best characters, isn't she? She's gonna be a horny bitch too...wanna fuck the Supreme Khan and Ishara at once? You'd better be SHAMMEH~! Oh Si~!

Best of the best thus far. Crazy good. Thank you!

I am sorry, but I have no intention of reading any of your stories until you finish One in Ten. I have read comments about how great this one is, but refuse to read it not only as a form of protest, but also for fear that it too will go unfinished.

Cael finally gets to visit Aya and the seven pillars attack. It is time to whoop ass.

Great job FS.

Hi Anonymous,

I really liked "One in Ten", but really the story is basically done. I recall, the protagonist and his merry band had escaped from his enemies and found safe haven in an uncertain future. I think some of the band want to split off cause they don't like their host and the psychopath, oh yeah, Flame, I really like Flame, she's awesome.

Shanghai, clued me in, bad stuff in China will reunite the merry band when faced with real life in a pandemic world.

It's a very good and well-written series, however, come on, just one of the upcoming battles will be with Shammy leading one hundred (blood and intestine covered?) Amazon berserkers.

"Is there some drug you are all taking to bask in this shared fantasy life?"

Thank you again FS for another wonderful chapter, and please keep up the excellent work on this story line, it's so fun.

Just realized how presumptuous I was giving my take on the ending of "One in Ten", obviously I wouldn't have a clue.

It was a master piece again !

Enjoyed the extra long chapter.

Your storytelling is excellent, and I enjoyed the diversions (prompted me to research the battle of Cannae for example). I am looking forward to the continuation of this epic!

5* of course!!

As usual a wonderful chapter ! Another 5******'s . I think pariah001 probably put it best from my view point .

Thanks again for great work !

TX CRACKER

Butt seriously, volks. As battle scenes go, this one hits the moon. Combat righting ist a vary hardt vone two three four... I mean, hard one to do.

You have to hit to hit to hit to hit. Damn, Cael withdrawl alreaddyyya ?? My nerves can't take more of this, captain. If we don't back down to warped factum fivefivefive were're going to blow our minds.

Ooops.

Ah hell, another bites the rusty bus.

I can add more stars?

This chapter was totally amazing. The plot twists & turns were wonderful. Kept m in suspense, cant wait for the next chapters and please make them long

Saw this in the New Yorker today: http://www.newyorker.com/books/joshua-rothman/real-amazons

Very interesting, kind of links up with much of the storyline here (other than the magic bits).

Hi.

Well, I think I previously said my perversity tended towards women in command of the male. At this point, the male is pretty much in command. We're beyond the scope of my perverted inclinations at this point.

I'm only going to be mentioning things I wish were different or could change. Don't ever think that I don't enjoy this story.

1. I do not like the abrupt flashbacks at all. I wish there could be a different way to explore them which was more 'In character'. Like maybe a ceremony or a yoga session or a "Spirit Tent". Some of the flashbacks need not be flashbacks at all and could be integrated into the normal flow of the story.

2. Really need to group or better define those 1-character-talking-in-multiple-paragraphs scenes. Those scenes are among the most disruptive and confusing style hiccups in the story..

3. I don't feel comfortable in how the story went metaphysical and supernatural. It removes a large amount of tension from the protagonist. Beforehand we knew it was mostly his wit and cavalier attitude which got him into trouble and out of trouble. Now he has an ancient spirit/God backing him up. It makes things a little less stressful. There is nothing you can do about this, as the story took the path that it took, but I thought I'd give my impression on it.

4. The 'running countdown' until Cael is 'not an intern' is both interesting and irrelevant. Irrelevant because he's a House Head (thus an Ash Man by being part of the Host) and the focus of a god's attention. At the moment, it feels like a running gag designed to keep Cael deprived of any money.

Interesting because we've had 27 long chapters of erotic innuendo about how interesting that moment is going to be. I worry that you've build that moment up to such an extent that, when it comes, it will not be as encompassing as the reader would want it to be. I count maybe 30 women that, through conversation or innuendo proximity, are interested in 'hunting him down'. They say this while licking their lips and creaming their panties.

5. The chapters involving the 'weekend getaway' into Hamptons felt like filler and ego porn. The dialogue that Cael displayed in those chapters was, frankly, disheartening. There was no subtly or artistry to it. The witty intelligence I expected from Cael turned egotistical, imperial and downright arrogant. I found no compelling or involving reason for the existence of those chapters beyond the building of relations with the U.S. through the investigators. In fact, they are mostly unnecessary as the relationship was already established via the death of Cael's father and the events therein. Considering that we've also spent long chapters with a count down towards the end of internship, we could have easily gained a reprieve with a time-skip of "One week later." or "Two weeks later."

Nevertheless, this is a generally good story. If I were to rate it on Amazon, I would probably be hovering around a 3.5 or 3.6. That means this story, if the proofreading is improved significantly, would sell. I mean that. This story can make you money. I have read hundreds of books worst than this which are both commercially distributed and successful.

Don't hesitate to contact me in the forums with a PM.

Montanos

[Mayor Quimby] Did eiye hear a ... chaepter uploading?

Chapter 28 is in its final edit. Chapter 29 is 5125 words. I just had (10:00) a colonoscopy, so I've been rather under the weather at the moment. I hope to submit 28 to Literotica later today and finish 29 in a day, or two. Things keep getting in the way for the trip to Europe, but that is still on the agenda.

And my condolences to your colon.

I love this story, it's right up my alley thank you for writing it! can't wait for the next one!

I have been trying to resist nagging you about the next chapter. Having said that hope you feel better soon and I know the feeling. I had cellulites of the lower R leg a few weeks ago and it sucked the creativity right out of me.

Now for some actual feedback. I have been greatly enjoying the dialogue and snippy comments he tends to make when irritated and or someone is being stupid (in his opinion). The interaction between the majority of the characters is believable and I find the almost love/hate feelings he engenders in the Amazons rather amusing.

One thing I am finding makes it easier to read (imho) is the further along the story develops the less details sex scenes. This is simply a personal opinion and take it for what you will. I have read a number of good stories that had become hard to read since every chapter there is a sex scene that just is tossed in because this is an erotic site. For the most part when you add them in it works with the flow and isn't just added 'because it is an erotic site and we have to have lots of sex'. In your case it is pretty much stated from the outset that he is a horn dog which sets the story for plenty of sex scenes and they usually have some sort of development involved.

About the only other thing is occasionally the typo's can make it hard/awkward to understand what you are trying to get across. The same goes with some of the dialogue where you have two people talking in the same paragraph.

In any case I am looking forward to the next installment and again hope you feel better soon.

FS,

I am hoping that the procedure went well and nothing was found that should not be there.. Your health must always come first... take your time getting the next chapter out.. I am really looking forward to the next chapters of this EPIC ( as others have put it ) STORY. Get Well, Be Well Stay Well My

Get well man, although many silent readers( those who don't comment) like me are anxious of the next chapter(s), still we want the author to be healthy, I guess things will heat up at this point of the story huh?I really love your stories, good health and god bless =)

I apologize. I submitted it two days, a last second editing problem came up (I called people by the 'wrong' titles!!!!), so it went in again yesterday. I'm about finished destroying Cael's life in 29...if there was ever any doubt, there are some evil freaking people in this tale and a few of them are even his enemies.

We get this great story for free, two days after it was supposed to be out according to a self set scedual that is blazingly fast. Devastating. :D

I was going to stay up all night reading it when it came out and now I will stay up all night reading it when it comes out. No big deal. Most stories I wait years for new instalments to come out. We should be so lucky to be spoiled by an author that gives of them self to their fans half as much as you do and I mean that.

Take care of yourself.

"Please heal and grow strong for this is the start, not the finish."

But you submitted the next chapter 5 days ago. How long does it take them to review and publish it?! Checking three times a day here....it's driving me crazy!

I did submit it FIVE days ago and it is still sitting in the 'Pending Approval' slot. I check six, or seven times a day. I've sent the a message about it. A few readers have contacted me personally and I have sent them the final draft of 28. I'm rather frustrated and I don't know what else I can do at the moment.

You've done your part and then some. You wrote it, found someone to edit it, sent it in and followed up on getting it posted after a reasonable amount of time.

Let the site managers do their jobs.You never know when they might be getting short staffed or something

Now that I was all reasonable and polite,

GET THE LEAD OUT LIT STAFF!

Chapter 2 of my series was six days pending for approval, so I just decided to be patient about it. Well, I was geting impatient and thought "If it isn't up by tomorrow I'll contact the admins" but in the end I didn't need to do that.

I'm checking ten times a day as well. But in the end it doesn't really matter because FS can work on the next chapters while we are waiting (no preasure intended ^^).

It will surely be out soon and then we will devour it.

And I thought I was tripping or something! I've been checking e ery day, myltipke tine amd im like UGH, wjy hasnt the next chapter posted, lol! I even have this comment page in my history to check for updates.

This is your fault FS for writing such a good dagone story! Thanks for turning me into a hot mess waiting for the next fix, you suck!! Just kidding :-)

Come on lit, wtf, over!?!?

I have heard stories get approved in 2-7 days. No faster and rarely if ever longer. Also the site where I am at on the east coast updates 3-4am which is probably down to that being 12midnight to 1 am westcoast time. Very rarely do new things show up outside of that time period. And even then it is only worth checking again first thing in the morning. I would guess it will hit some automatic approval time and be added tonight 3am. Then it would be a full 7 days not counting the fraction of a day when it was submitted.

Approve 28 already!!! That is all.

....and let it out.

There now..... Don't you feel better?

I have noticed that in certain genres that story submissions can overwhelm the approval system. Also Friday>weekend entries. Whatever gross profits, this Site earns from their advertisers is what is available for salaries and tech upgrades.

My stories generally take at least a couple of weeks and a couple of entries before they are accepted and posted. And my most recent story an entire month and four attempts before acceptance.

I sincerely do not mind. My writing is experimental and flame-boy-rant. I enjoy missedspelting and obscurant Capita-lizzie-nations and pun-not-so-gently puny_i_tively pun..."ctum" punk?che?ashun,,,

I smile daydreaming of when I send in a new piece how the Literotica Staff must cringe in horror. As once again! I abuse the dead language of Academic English. As I piss all over it's grave.

"She was a lone feather falling upon the unyielding stone." - just beautiful.

If you asked me where I thought this story would've gone to when I read the first couple of chapters, I would've been waaay off the mark to how it is at the moment. Near the beginning there wasn't much mention of anything that goes beyond secret societies so I just assumed thats where it ended it regard to fantasy elements. I have to say, all of these elements that get revealed to the plot as it progresses just make it that much more interesting. Also.. Cael x Pamela anyone? ... no..? just me..?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Ceilxpamala gods yes

Okay, blew another day reading this epic...

Thank you. This chapter was more than excellent.

You can really write.

mind-numbing. almost no sex. too much bullshit.

So you read every chapter just to insult it, but don't have the balls to either sign up to literotica or sign in?

Also, I would think that after 27 chapters you would quit reading if you were not enjoying it, so either you are lying about not liking it, or (more likely) you are just skipping to the end of each chapter to write nasty comments.

Not that your comments are constructive criticism, they are the exact opposite, you do not suggest alternative solutions, you just slam the author, probably out of jealousy.

Meanwhile some of us have literally lost count of the number of times we have read this story (7? more than 5, less than 10). I would rather read this another time than read anything anonymous wrote, given that he seems to find Guardians of the Galaxy too cerebral and wordy and thinks that porn plots are deep and entertaining. (I do like Guardians, but it is a popcorn movie).

I do have to admit to posting an anonymous comment on here once myself, but it was a technical note and I was on my phone while reading, and couldn't remember my password...

I have no time to add a comment get on to the next chapter damn I love this story

Paps

Dude you are a great freaking author! Please keep writing!

I actually finally (after nearly a three month hiatus) started working on the final chapter, 48, today ~ December 27th, 2016. I cranked out another 3,700 words plus polished off the ending. I hope the tale remains interesting.

James aka FinalStand

I read the battle scene in the gulch again and was less confused and enjoyed it more this time. I still think it is a little bit confusing but my lack of enjoyment the first time was definitely my mood

Addicted to this story, might endanger my job. You should write professionally

"yet she deferred to the Council's sensibilities when brutality wielding autocracy was required."

Is should be "brutally wielding autocracy"

Also, I'm really enjoying this reread and I hope the universe stops throwing rocks at you.

Actually it is correct as it was written...

"...when brutality wielding autocracy was required." If you replace brutality with brutally, then try the same sentence segment with one of the synonyms for either word. Example: "...when brutally wielding autocracy was required" changed to "...when savagely wielding autocracy was required"

The key overall is that Hayden had allowed her council to be in charge of decisions that should have been made by an autocracy that wielded brutality (noun). Meaning she should have made the decisions with the savagery and cruelty that was necessary instead of allowing others to temper the judgements being made.

... what she said. Brutality in this case is used as a noun.

In essence, the Amazon Race is facing the twilight of their existence and Hayden knew this yet failed to act decisively because she was more afraid of the Hardliners tearing the Council apart. Following Pamela's advice to Cael about Katrina and his new position as Head of House Ishara ~ in essence, it wasn't Hayden's job to bring consensus to a dying people - her job was to save them and instead she balked.

Brutality was what was needed because those Hardliners were willfully blind to the path they were headed down.

James aka FinalStand

It started out with Sophia,

Caprica was mentioned as a bystander

Caprica was in the fight

Caprica was about to bend down to help

Then it blipped back to Sophia for two utterances, then once again Capricia.

I'm so confuuuused

JC

{As a general note, Caprica is the effective House Head of Summer Camp to her word is 'law' in most cases. That was why she was able to shoulder aside (socially) Sophia when that Amazon wanted to wrestle with our 'hero'.}

** Counter-proposal: I select unarmed combat. If you can last five minutes, you may bow hunt our 'rodent problem' tomorrow." More snickers. [This is Sophia]

"I prefer to entertain our guest," Caprica spoke up. "Unless he wishes to withdraw."

[This is Caprica in the next sentence taking over the match]

"Huh? What? Caprica, with the size and firmness of your breasts, I'm all for some serious hand-to-hand contact." A slight intake of breath then the laughter began. My sexism wasn't an issue. It was my spirited pugnaciousness they were applauding.

We walked sideways into the rough, uneven-surfaced fighting ring. Caprica held up her hand.**

[Cael jokes and agrees to fight with Caprica alone]

**"We walked sideways into the rough, uneven-surfaced fighting ring. Caprica held up her hand.

"How much damage to your scrotum causes permanent injury?"

"I'm not sure," I remained wary. "I've had hot wax poured over them, and then my tormentors ripped the congealed mass off, along with all my pubic hair, without undue effect." **

[This is Caprica and Cael engaging in friendly banter before the fight begns]

**"Stay back," I heard Pamela shout. Later I was told that Caprica was getting ready to kneel by my side to assist me. I could have lashed out the moment I saw her and that would have been all kinds of bad. "Aya..." Pamela summoned the aid I needed. **

This narrates the interactions at the end of the Carpica-Cael contest ~ Cael seizing up and Caprica being the closest to him inciting Pamela to warn her away. Thus ends Round #1 of the struggle.

I hope this helps,

James aka FinalStand

When Caprica states that she wanted to 'entertain our guest' I read that as her saying the countermeasure wasn't correct, or that his original proposal of 'if I lose I get to go hunting' should be the one that stands.

Then the following sentences were wher ei thought there was a mix up with the names because, if you swap it to the way I've read it, that would make sense.

Ta for explaining

JC

Loving the series by having binge read up to ch 26 in ten days. That said, this installment was an editing let down. Lots of minor errors. Still a great read though!

I apologize for that. At the end of the day, every submission is mine to make and I am the one who does the final proofread and edit-check. I am glad you've enjoyed things to date despite these flaws and continue to do so. I hope my health improves enough to get back to 'the grind' and start pumping out more chapters soon.

Take care,

James aka FinalStand

Evidently the Cleopatra syndrome is alive and well and no longer gender specific. (Re: current POTUS)

The level of research, militarily and psychological, really supports your storyline. Some grammatical issues, but the plot line and dialogue more than make up for it.

OMG, I had the very same thought about POTUS 45!

It was such a good definition that I copied it to my Words of Wisdom text file.

May the blessings of a thousand ancestors fall on the ears of FinalStand! 🤔

- pal

When you stand upon the top of No Man Mesa (How appropriate for the story.) and watch the afternoon sun's shadoow slowly stretch out to touch the base of the next mesa,,Monitor Mesa,, you are looking east, or north of east. Shadows never stretch out or advance to the west.

The water hole the peccary were headed for is to the north and west or Monitor Mesa. It has no name.

Hey finalstand, what another great chapter, brilliant, the stories within stories loving it.

Yeah, this was a big one and a lot got covered. I'm glad to see you are still enjoying the plot and characters.

Take care,

James aka FinalStand

Even more astounding than the tasty doughnut is the filling. The story of Baraqu/Alal is its own masterpiece.

Funny thing about Scorpions. In earlier chapters I was whistling Winds of Change.

Creepy coincidence: I have a good friend, former coworker from Hungary. He’s about 6’3” 215 and super fit. Black hair, green eyes. He’s been in the US long enough to be fairly Americanized. My kids laugh when he talks because they say that he sounds like Dracula.

In all of Cael’s dialogue I hear the faint accent of Transylvanian Hungarian, and it’s unsettling. My buddy isn’t a Lothario but rather a good family man, sort of the Ferko rather than the Cael personality.

Loving the tale.....again.

~Enkidu

One hallmark of *good* storytelling is managing to instill in the reader a burning desire to know "What happens next?".

What kind of storytelling invokes that page-turning drive the eighth (or more) time through? Something far beyond "good".

Every 6 months or so I say to myself: "Hmmm, I haven't visited LAANH recently, maybe I'll just re-read the first chapter again.

No more than the first few. Really!. Then I'll stop. I mean it this time!"

A couple days and 27 chapters later I've lifted my head up long enough to realize that I lied to myself. Again. Huh.

Oh well, gotta go! Chapter 28 is calling me.

FS: I hope this finds you in as good spirits as I am whenever I visit LAANH.

Damn dude or chick(don’t know) if your going to have a fight then fight. All this explain every move and every step with a history lesson makes this hard to want to read. Let’s have the fight then go back and explain why it’s won or lost

You babble too much. Your need to throw every fancy word you can think of into each sentence disables the flow of this story. I am glad this not another jerkoff story but you could pull it back from every sentence to every three. It’s still a well thought of story. It’s getting very crazy. I think it would be better to have slowly brought each society instead of all at once. It’s your story.

Do you have any future plans for Zarana Inara (the teen Cael schools on the first page)? It's such a great name, it seems like a shame if we've seen the last of her.

I routinely wonder if 2Reader is just being belligerent for the sake of being belligerent.

2reader stop reading or STFU,no one's forcing u if u don't like his style of writing, you could have stopped 15 chapters ago. How about write your own instead of just hating.

To Geon54. Some names are too good to let die. In 007 story (Goldfinger?) a criminal named Napoleon Solo is killed and his body sent to a car crusher. The name was so good that it was resurrected as 'the Man from UNCLE'. To 2reader: I keep a dictionary handy to help me with the big words, and also with the proper pronunciation for smaller words that don't arise in everyday conversation. Knowledge is power. You could say "Spread 'em bitch; show me your cunt" or "I'm doing some research for Masters & Johnson. What is the line of demarcation between the labia majora and labia minora?" If she has to correct your pronunciation as LAY- bee-a, you're busted. Writing is hard: concepts. theme. main character development, conflict as well as proper grammar

sentence structure and spelling; spell check is a false sense of security. I had one ask if PT (for patient) had I meant to say 'pterodactyl' ? It ain't easy. There are 450 new postings a week (or maybe a DAY). find something you like. It's all free and worth at least what you paid for it.

Anon56

Not your best chapter - a little too much background information. BUT …. the ending of the chapter brought you right back on track.

Thanx for a truly fascinating story. Even if it was “only” 4 *’s this time, your storyarc is a fiver in general!

Thank you!

Wow, the backgrounding was another ancient history lesson with Mysticism thrown in for good measure to connect and explain things. I enjoyed the chapter, a long one.

Scores 5/5

Great instalment again.

Holy Shit, you keep pulling it off this is some great stuff.

I do not know how much of this story is made up and how much is historical fact but you wove it all together superbly. Well done!

5th time around and the flashbacks are why I do it. The rest of the story is fabulous…..the upcoming Earth and Sky background notwithstanding ……but the daydream flashbacks, dude I seek you out yearly to reread your material knowing I’ll eventually get back around to them.

I’m sincerely hoping you get to 50 chapters one way or another, and finish One in Ten, etc, and I will pay for them if you can get them done and posted….somewhere…..

But I most definitely wish you health and happiness and the same for your family. And thank you for your stories.

~Spiny