All Comments on 'Jackie Said What?'

This is a work of art a couple of misspelled words but I'm not perfect either,the story was well,in my opinion a great story.I hope you continue on with another chapter.I normally lose interest in long stories but this kept me entertained through the whole thing.

Liked the story, very realistic first time swinging story, I could really see it happening something like this.

FYI

Shuddering is what happens when a woman's body quakes and quivers from orgasm.

Shuttering is what happens to windows just before a hurricane hits.

Very true to how it happened to us and we found it very exciting. Write another, you have a talent.

Nice story. I liked it.

FYI, when using "to lie" (to rest or recline), the present participle is "lying" not "laying."

Fine story, but a bit too long with a lot of wasted words. Could be much more tightly constructed, and your editing leaves much to be desired. Too many words were misused, misspelled and misplaced. Try harder next time.

But please get an editor!

The spelling and grammar made it difficult to read.

Enjoyed the story and really hope you continue as a writer. Yes, there were typos and spelling errors, but not enough to interrupt the flow.

I agree with another comment on story length. This reader finds 3-4 pages the best length. For longer stories, consider breaking into chapters.

More more more.

Give us another chapter, just proof it first.

I read lots on Lit, & for me, this is about very best I've read here!! Keep them coming, Gray baby, if you would! Will these 2 bad boys be getting it on too? Will Jackie make them?

Womens’ closeness moved it along, men were supportive, far less individualized. Nice, I’m falling asleep enjoying their relationship and eSy sex.