Card Game With Couples

With couples, cards, and lots of lascivious behavior, this story isn't exactly new territory for me. But sometimes you just have to play the hits.

Everyone here is over 18.

Shortly after our tenth anniversary, two things happened that changed my marriage forever.

First, Kirstin -- my beautiful, brunette spouse -- broke out in bright red splotches all over her body. She hadn't had so much as a pimple in decades, now she was breaking out like crazy. Then, a few days later, I woke up so dizzy that I could barely stand. For weeks, I was in a constant state of feeling like I'd just stepped off a roller coaster.

Eventually, Kirstin's gynecologist determined that my wife was having an allergic reaction to her birth control and suggested that she switch over to a non-hormone-based IUD. Soon after, I saw a specialist who theorized that I had a condition called vestibular migraine and prescribed a low dose of a generic SSRI which had been shown to be effective.

Both of us were dubious about our respective resolutions. But a few days after Kirstin stopped taking her pill, the hives went away completely. And after some time with the SSRI, sure enough, my dizziness disappeared (mostly, it was never a complete cure). Even better, I haven't had a migraine since.

However, there were also two significant consequences. Without the pill, Kirstin was no longer protected, and -- for some reason I've never been able to understand -- the gynecologist wanted to wait a few months before installing the IUD. We bought condoms, but neither of us could get into using them. And Kirstin was paranoid about pulling out. So, we basically stopped having sex.

Ironically, ejaculation was central to my issues, as well. One of the side effects of an SSRI, even at a low dose, is what they call delayed orgasm. Basically, I couldn't cum. Not without a lot of work, anyway. You might think that this would have encouraged my wife to risk unprotected sex, but you'd be wrong.

This was a temporary dilemma, of course. Kirstin would get her IUD. I would eventually be able to lower the dose of my medication or even stop it entirely. It would have been a little bump in the road. A pothole in an almost perfect stretch of marriage.

Almost.

*

We weren't even supposed to be spending the afternoon together.

I was hosting a boardgame day with my friend from work, Kevin, and his wife, Gwen. Kirstin, on the other hand, was going out to meet her own work friend, a woman named Lauren, to finish up some projects.

It was a dreary, drippy Saturday morning in the early fall. The trees were starting to turn, but the leaves had yet to drop. I was so involved in getting the apartment ready for my day, I startled when I saw my wife walk out of our bedroom.

You could see the difference in our plans by our outfits. I was in a t-shirt and jeans, looking like I'd just rolled out of bed. Meanwhile, Kirstin was wearing a dark skirt, heels, and a white button-down blouse. She'd even done her makeup and popped in her diamond stud earrings.

"Wow, I thought you guys were just going to grab a table at Starbucks," I said.

Kirstin came over and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. She was on the tall side for a woman, about 5'7". Despite being in her mid-thirties, she'd kept her college body. Her dark brown hair hung down past her shoulders. All done up, she looked ready to give a professional presentation rather than pop out for a quick weekend work project.

"Lauren says we might go out afterwards," Kirstin said, a coy grin sneaking across her sweetheart face, "She wants me to meet her new boyfriend."

I knew Lauren had recently escaped from an ugly divorce. No kids, thankfully, but her ex was a real piece of work who'd managed to make everything difficult for her. Lauren was, well, I'll say that she and I were not great friends. But no one deserves to be treated like that. I was glad she was seeing someone new.

"You look like you're setting up for quite the afternoon yourself there, Jacob," Kirstin said, eyeing the stack of boxes I'd put out on the kitchen table. Kirstin, despite being an apex geek who loved science fiction, was not into gaming. She indulged my obsession, but it wasn't her thing.

Fortunately, I'd found Kevin. A relatively new hire in another department, Kevin was nearly a decade younger than me. But we'd bonded immediately over our mutual love of cardboard games. We regularly got together for Twilight Struggle, Settlers of Catan, Brass Birmingham, Eclipse, and others. Kevin's wife, Gwen, wasn't a big gamer, but she was willing to play along. It meant we usually had three players (four when I talked Kirstin into joining), which was good enough for a good time.

There was a buzz at the door and Kirstin went over to answer.

"It's Lauren!" the voice said through the intercom.

"Be right down," Kirstin said. She turned and glanced out the window. Our apartment building was an old factory that had been turned into hyper-modern, open-concept apartments. One of the many benefits of the layout (along with the vintage hardware floors and a ton of cool architectural details) was that we had massive windows overlooking everything. "You think I'll need my umbrella?"

I glanced down at my phone. "Weather says cloudy all day, but no rain," I said.

Kirstin reached for a raincoat, then stopped herself and shrugged. I was caught by my wife's appearance once again. Her hose showed off her long legs and her heels made her little butt pop out in that tight, dark skirt. Her white blouse did similar wonders for her sizeable bust, as if the cloth could barely contain what was beneath.

Kirstin caught me looking and she smiled, wistfully. "Only a few more weeks till I get the IUD."

I could only nod in resigned agreement. I knew that, even if we could have sex, the SSRI was certain to keep me from enjoying it as much as I might. It didn't bother me as much as you might think, though. In truth, the thing that turned me on more than anything wasn't the thought of my own orgasm -- it was watching Kirstin cum. The way her face flushed. Her mouth hung open. Deep green eyes rolled back. Taut body trembling.

"You sure we couldn't...?" I said, rolling my wrist for emphasis. Though we'd agreed that intercourse off the table while Kirstin was off her meds, we could have gotten creative. There are lots of things two consenting adults can do without risking pregnancy. But for whatever reason, we'd stopped cold.

Ten years is a long time to be married. Kirstin and I had met in our early twenties and got engaged soon after. We were a good couple, complimentary, but I think the decade mark hit us both harder than we realized. It was easy to blame other things for our sudden chastity, but I think it was a symptom of a larger issue: we'd gotten comfortable.

I know that sounds like a good thing. It is a good thing. But there's a reason stories end at 'happily ever after.' If there's no tension anymore, no one cares. When the audience is bored, that's a problem. When your marriage is tedious, that can be a disaster.

"Wow, board games really getting you going," Kirstin said, teasing. Then she straightened out, serious. "We've talked about this. I don't want kids, Jacob, and I'm not willing to risk it."

"I can barely even cum as it is," I said.

"You don't have to," Kirstin said, "Your naughty little friend spits out sperm even when you aren't ejaculating." She caught me making a pouty face and softened. "I know. It's been hard for me too. Just a little longer."

"I could do other things for you," I said.

Kirstin smirked as the image entered her mind. "Maybe," she said, "After all our friends go home."

"Of course."

Almost as soon as Kirstin left, the door buzzed again, and I let Kevin and Gwen up to the apartment. Kevin greeted me first. He gave me a warm handshake, clasping my elbow with his free hand as he did it. He was tall and skinny with wavy dark hair. Kirstin says he's attractive and I guess I can see it. She also says he's a beanpole. I could definitely see that.

His wife, Gwen, came up and gave me a brief hug. I didn't need Kirstin to tell me that Gwen was super cute. She was short, around 5'3" maybe, with sparking blue eyes and long, light brown hair that hung down to her backside. Gwen was a girl next door type, always wearing sweaters and jeans. But it was impossible for her to hide the curvy body she kept beneath. Especially her chest, which looked liable to topple her over at any moment. My wife was no slouch when it came to breast size, but next to Gwen she looked flat-chested.

"It's too bad Kirstin couldn't join," Kevin said, as he sat down at the table. I knew he was thinking about his own wife. Gwen's bubbly personality and positive attitude made her pleasant to play games with. But it was easier for her when another woman was around.

"Some work thing," I said, "But maybe she'll be back in time for the after-dinner round."

We agreed to start with Flamme Rouge as a warmup, so I set out the cardboard tiles to form the racetrack. Kevin took the little blue plastic cyclists and, of course, Gwen chose the pink ones. We had the decks all shuffled and ready to go when there was a bright flash outside. A massive BOOM shook the entire apartment.

"Holy shit, did they just drop the big one?" Kevin asked. I didn't blame him, that had sounded a lot more aggressive than normal thunder. I tried to look out our window, but my view was immediately blocked by a torrent of water. As if someone was dumping the ocean out right over our apartment building.

"Fuck, Kirstin's out there right now," I said, thinking guiltily of before when I told her she wouldn't need rain gear. "I hope she found shelter before this started."

As if replying to my rumination, the door buzzed loudly.

I pushed the intercom and Kirstin shouted back at me. "I can't find my keys!"

A moment later, I heard a fleet of footsteps tromping up the stairs and then the apartment door flew open. Kirstin came in first, looking like a drowned rat. My pretty wife gave me a sour smile, then pushed past me.

"That came out of nowhere," she said, trying to be humorous. But I could tell her heart wasn't in it.

Kirstin's work friend Lauren followed immediately behind her. She was just as strikingly beautiful as I'd remembered. Medium height and thin as a rail, Lauren's usually platinum blonde hair was dark with wet and her pinkish skin was starting to shade purple from the cold. She waved hello, dismissive, and followed my wife inside.

Behind them was someone I did not expect. He was tall and broad shouldered, olive skinned, with curly dark hair that hung below his ears and a messy black beard. I realized this must be Lauren's new boyfriend.

"Dante," he said, giving my hand a firm, wet shake. He had a trace of an accent that I couldn't place. Even as he said hello, however, I noticed Dante was staring past me. I turned to see what had grabbed his attention.

My wife was standing in the middle of the kitchen. Her white blouse was plastered to her chest and quite see-through. Like I said, Kirstin wasn't as full-chested as Gwen, but she had more than enough. Even with her bra, I could see the pink of Kirstin's breasts and even make out the small dark circles of her areola.

Kirstin didn't seem to notice her predicament, but Dante definitely did. He was practically frozen in my doorway, watching my wife's chest like it might explain the secret of life to him if he stared long enough.

"Honey, maybe you should get changed into dry clothes," I said.

Kirstin looked down at her chest and her eyes went wide, mortified.

"Come on," Lauren said and grabbed Kirstin's hand, dragging her back to the bedroom, "I'm sure we can find something for me to change into, too."

"I'll get some clothes for you once they're done," I said to Dante, who was now watching my wife's backside as it swished down the hallway.

He turned and evaluated me, dubiously. I'm not in bad shape by any means, but I was at least half a foot shorter than him and not nearly as well built with a bit of post-marriage paunch. I guess Dante was wondering what I had that he could possibly fit into.

Kevin and Gwen introduced themselves to Dante. As he shook Gwen's hand, he gave her massive, sweater-covered chest an appreciative look. At least I knew it wasn't just my wife Dante had eyes for.

We all stared at each other uncomfortably, not saying a word. Dante stood in in the kitchen and watered my hardwood floors, while Kevin and Gwen took a good look at the architecture of my apartment. It was awkward as hell.

The only sound was Kirstin and Lauren in the bedroom, stumbling around and giggling as they got changed. The two of them had an odd friendship. As a child, Kirstin had been gawky and withdrawn. It wasn't till her thirties, well after we married, that she blossomed into this gorgeous, confident woman. Yet, she still saw herself as an outsider, almost surprised when people paid her attention.

Especially people like Lauren. The beautiful blonde woman was clearly used to being the center of everyone's attention. When they started working together and became friends, I think it had an outsized impact on Kirstin. She got to be friends with the popular girl. That meant a lot to her. Lauren, to her credit, never truly took advantage of Kirstin's obvious reverence, but it was clearly there.

Finally, both women came back into the main room to rescue us from our discomfort. Kirstin had put on her more usual weekend attire, a green v-neck shirt with a pair of dark jeans and flats. Lauren was also wearing Kirstin's clothes, although they hung much looser on her bony body. The blonde woman had chosen a deep red, wide-necked turtleneck, that hung below her waist. She also had on a pair of my wife's tan slacks.

With the women out, I went back into my bedroom and found some clothing I thought would work for Dante. I came back with a pile, expecting him to go get changed in one of the back rooms.

Instead, right there in the kitchen, Dante lifted off his shirt exposing a washboard stomach and defined, hairy pecs. Then he stepped out of his pants. Dante, Lauren's new boyfriend who I'd just met, was now standing in a pair of tight, black briefs in the middle of my apartment. Even I had to appreciate his physique.

Dante didn't pause or preen. He stepped into my blue mesh shorts and pulled on my grey, billowing hoodie. He gave everyone a dopey grin as his head popped out of the neck hole.

"Holy crap it's nasty out there," Kirstin said, looking purposefully out the window. But I could tell from the flush of her cheeks that she'd been staring somewhere else a moment before. "Definitely not going out in that again."

"You're welcome to stay and join us for game day," Kevin said. He and Gwen were both standing near the table, arms clasped chastely in front of them. Dante's display had all of us feeling a little uncomfortable, apparently.

Lauren looked over at Kevin like he'd just suggested we play with his Transformers. The skinny blonde was very pretty, I couldn't deny that. A gorgeous, thin face and a tight, though fairly featureless, body. I had a bit of a crush on her, despite my better instincts.

Because while Lauren got along fine with my wife, the blonde woman wasn't a nice person to most people. She had a way of making you feel like you were the frog, and she was the princess. And she didn't care if you were secretly a prince. It left me off balance with her: continually caught up in Lauren's overwhelming appearance, yet constantly reminded of her objectionable personality.

Lauren gave her usual, near-persistent sneer at the board games and anyone who would stoop to play them. Then she shot my wife a look as if to say, 'you wouldn't actually make me do this, would you?'

I decided to come to Lauren's rescue. "You and Kirstin had work, didn't you?"

"Yes," Lauren said, and she couldn't hide her satisfaction at the excuse, "We need to get that project done."

"We can't go out in this," Kirstin said, again gesturing to the window, "And there's nowhere to set up in the apartment. Besides, we weren't going to get much done after Dante showed up."

"I'm not going anywhere till the storm lets up," Dante said. He walked over to the table, "So, what were you planning on playing?"

Kevin immediately started to explain the game and how it worked, showing the tiny plastic cyclists, the deck of cards, and the racetrack.

"It's pretty simple to learn and a lot of fun once you get into it. But it's only for four people," Kevin concluded.

Dante nodded solemnly. Then he asked if we had anything to drink. I guess that stood as his well-reasoned critique of our afternoon plans.

Ordinarily, I wouldn't have been able to offer him much. Neither Kirstin nor I were big drinkers. Fortunately, I'd picked up some six packs for boardgame day, plus we had a bunch of leftover stuff from parties past that we'd never gotten around to emptying.

"Beer?" I asked, and Dante nodded. Kevin, Kirstin, and Gwen all wanted one and I got a bottle for myself, as well. Lauren however, just sighed and flounced over to the couch, flopping onto the cushions.

"Do you have anything else?" she asked, as if we were quite rude not to have anticipated her alcohol preferences.

"I think we have some merlot somewhere," I said. Lauren let me know that would be acceptable, so I poured her a glass.

"You guys can have your day," Kirstin said, taking a swig of her beer and sitting on the couch next to Lauren, "We'll watch Netflix and wait the storm out."

"Won't that be weird, us playing games while you watch TV?" I asked.

"Come on, let's find a game for all six of us," Gwen said, "It'll be a ton of fun."

"What about cards?" Dante asked, "We could all play poker. You know how to play?"

"I don't like to play against friends for money," Gwen said, "It's a good way to destroy a relationship."

"We don't have to play for money," Dante said, waggling his eyebrows at all three women.

"I wouldn't be comfortable with that, either," Kirstin said, looking pointedly at me. I noticed Gwen giving Kevin a similar look.

"Oh, come on, don't act like you've never played strip poker before," Dante said, sidling over to the couch. "Everyone does that at least once in their life."

What he meant, really, was that everyone who's hot does that. And since Kirstin was good looking, she'd clearly had those kinds of experiences. Except she hadn't. As I mentioned earlier, my wife had been a late bloomer. She'd spent her 'wild' years fooling around with learning the flute, staying up all night to do her calculus homework, and binging shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's one of the reasons we worked so well as a couple. Anyone who made me seem like the outgoing one was a rare find, indeed.

"Stop being a pig, Dante," Lauren said, but she didn't seem all that upset with his behavior. It was more that she felt the need to stick up for Kirstin.

"I'm sure I have some kind of game for six people," I said. Since I'd been planning on having just the three of us, none of what I'd stacked out for the day was for more than four players. So, I gathered up the cardboard I'd already laid out, and went into the guest bedroom where we stored all the board games. I sat down on the bed and scanned the shelves. It wasn't looking good. We always played with four people, at most, so I didn't see the need to buy a lot of large-count games. Plus, if I wanted this group to get into it, I was going to need a game that wasn't too geeky.

I was about to give up and suggest some kind of bloodless poker, when my eyes alighted on a small, thin purple box. Well, Dante had suggested a card game...

"The Great Dalmuti," I said, walking back to the living room, my find held above my head like a treasure.