subaloha

I am a strong, intelligent, sincere, educated, professional, successful woman who understands the freedom that accompanies surrender. I am a 36 years old, I am, a woman, mother, daughter, a sister, a poet, a nurse, a friend, and a sub. I enjoy articulate and stimulating conversations of substance. I am secure and know myself well. I have little tolerance for anything other than sincerity. I am kind and respectful of others in general not just in D/s. What I seek in a Dominant: Integrity, intelligence, great character, communication, understanding, sincere, eloquent, educated, secure, passionate, balanced and with the ability to entice me, and allow me to give up complete control, mind, body & soul. I think its sad that D/s lifestyle is so "hush hush" here in Hawaii, so underground if you will. I found myself turning to the Internet to try and make a contact, Not so sure that was a good idea sometimes, Cyberspace is a home to many clueless folk. I am always polite with people. It's simply how I am but some would label me "arrogant" for knowing myself and being secure. I value my time and those I would spend it with. I am a woman that knows what she wants and does not settle. Most men however feel threatened when this comes into play. being a submissive does not limit my proclivities to be selective nor does it make me weak in any way, shape or form. I have been in the lifestyle for 4 years off and on, never been collared, with 1 year formal training, I think there is ALWAYS space to learn and keep learning, I do not profess to know it all, However, I do know myself and that which is of importance to me. D/s being the lifestyle that I have chosen, I say the lifestyle that I have chosen but it is more accurate to say the lifestyle that has chosen me because I cannot change who and what I am. I am not ashamed of being a submissive on the contrary, I am quite proud of what I am. It is not a secret, It is who I am. I am not weak or incapable of dealing with my own life. It requires a great deal of strength to submit ones will totally to another as well as a great deal of trust! I have many passions & desires, reading & writing (poetry among my favorites),dancing under the moon, cooking, hot steamy strawberry bubble baths, passion for pain, crops, rope, cuffs, thorny roses, deep deep desire to be bound, the feeling of rope against my skin puts me over the edge! I want to be tied to my bed face down and whipped until I cant take another stroke, I want to lay at my Masters feet and await his next command, I wish to be all that he wants me to be and more. I am also very romantic. I believe in simplicity and elegance. I enjoy being a woman immensely, all that it encompasses. I enjoy life. I am a woman of details both great and small. I love to laugh and smile. I am kind, I am intense, driven by my will and complimented by my sense of self. Only to be completed when found in the presence of "Him," which I would honor by calling "Sir" I would like to stress this one fact, in my very personal opinion, "The hardest thing a sub can face is being unowned. While I sometimes loathe my freedom I choose to remain free rather then be with the wrong one!" Perhaps this is where I seem to hesitate In picking my Dom. I want to pick the "right one" because I flourish in a strict and structured environment. When the time comes for me to be in a relationship I will give absolutely all that I am to my Master. I am obedient and will be completely devoted to him. I feel that The Ability to be able to create a hunger in me which is so intense, that I would be willing to submit and do anything, anytime, anywhere for "Him" (because I want to). Take ME to a point that excites me in a way that nothing else does -- to see ME in the darkest, naked throes of your passion ... no inhibitions left, only the base animal in me ... Without ego, without defenses! allowing me to be a priceless flower that flourishes under "His" protection, to be sheltered and nourished by compassion and love. I patiently await to blossom into full radiance. Waiting for the gentle hand that will part the petals to reveal my true nature. I feel like you watch from afar, soulless eyes hide the excitement of the hunt as your sinister mind contemplates the ecstasy I shall experience as Your powerful words, and someday, hands will subdue ME, holding ME powerless as YOU mold ME, eyes staring into my very soul as you discover my hidden desires, dreams and my nasty dark dirty fantasies becoming known to you as you lead me into the realm of sweet bondage, fingers pinching, fondling and caressing, lips kissing, licking and sucking, teeth grazing, nibbling and biting, teasing and torturing my sensitive flesh, all a mere prelude to the sweet agony imposed by your whip, the rough leather ravaging my body, stripping away my false identity, leaving no place for me to hide as you bring forth the evidence of what I truly am, freeing my soul, your extreme Domination teaching me the truth of my submission as you make me yours, owning ME, fully as I beg for your harsh discipline! *whispering into your ear*,.... I am, Just Me
I want to be who I am, not who I cannot be
I cross the road to run from myself, and when
I turn it is still just me
I want more than I should ask, give more than
I have to give
At times I want very badly to die, if only I didn't
want so much to live
I am who I am, and though I want to change me
I want to be accepted for who I am, and not
who I'm expected to be
I am not who you would have me be, but I have
worth still set my value upon the message I receive . . .
my cup is yet to fill
I have much more to learn and need more time to grow
But I have come far from where I have been
and know just where I must go
I could go about my life and pretend day to day
Believe that someone listens to me and hears
what I have to say
I am not inconsequential though incidental still
I can take this gift or throw it away, but the value remains
. . . and always will,...I need YOU to me ME!!! if indeed, you are, Not,... "HIM" let me go Sir,... I beg you

Tonie