I'm not much of a creative writer, but have a great respect for those who are, and would welcome the opportunity to offer constructive criticism for those open to it. There are many pitfalls. How about girls, girl's, and girls'? Words like there, their, and they're. Not sure about your and you're? There's nothing that will turn off a reader so much as spelling or grammatical errors, or incorrect word usage. I would welcome the opportunity to help you create a sexy, captivating story/novel, and I'll work hard to repay your trust in kind.