by Ethum
Your story and art are OK. But the presentation on the monitor screen is too small when you show two pages at a time.
Take and show one page in close up so you can read the text and see the picture clearly. Also, place the camera directly perpendicular to the page so you do not distort the picture or the text. [ | ] angle and not [/] or [\]. I know that might make the flash glare on a spot. You may be able to soften the glare of the flash by using a rubber band or tape so hold a single layer of tissue paper over the flash.
PS I see some of the pages are double page pictures and my suggestion doesn't solve the issue of being hard to read.
NEEDS TO BE SHARPER, LOOKS LIKE GLARE AND HARD TO SEE, NEEDS DARKER ,COLORS TOO LIGHT
Really good. Nice and dirty (well, filthy actually!) and the drawings are more than good enough to make it really sexy.