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All Comments on 'A Distant Naval Xmas'
by sonofmydad
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- 3 Comments
LeBrozover 18 years ago~~
Quite a write
Of long distance lovers
Marking time
Till they're back with each other.
jthserraover 18 years agoAn interesting switch in the point of view
added some dimension here, but the rhyme was too forced to really help the poem. You might try rhyming alternating lines instead of using couplets, that might help reduce the forced feel of it all.
jim : )
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