All Comments on 'A Lusty Tale'

Your words and theme are clear.

but some of your rhymes are strained and your meter is not steady.

You have attempted a fairly long poem (for Lit.).

Perhaps it is too long and could be separated into two or three more "contained" works?

The "Yoda speak" also detracts from the quality you could have.

without the rhyme feeling forced. The amount of work you put in here is evident, but you are left with a poem that doesn't flow well. I think if you went with a different rhyme scheme and worked a bit more emjambment into your lines it would be less obtrusive. Read the lines outloud and work them until the flow feels natural. I think if you can do that, the poem will read better for you.

jim : )