by cavu182
This was really good, cav. I'm not a big fan of rhyme ending lines, but you worked them well. The narrative really worked its way into the poem. You made the reader stretch a little bit along the way.
My only quibble is you extended the feet in the lines a little too much, but that may be my problem that others don't have. I kept thinking if he(she?) shortened the lines a little, maybe even varied the feet in each, a really good poem would have been fantastic.
But, as I said, that may just be me.
A very enjoyable read.