All Comments on 'A Picnic in the Holy land'

wonderfully vivid images. I am a bit confused by the mixture of capitalization styles, though. Early in the poem, it seems to only be where needed in a sentence, later it's each line. Was that intentional?

Very good poem, though.

Tzara- you are right about the capitalization. Somehow it got switched to automatic line caps. I would blame my computer, but truth is I overlooked that! Thanks for the kind words.

one must cross the Jordan where bodies float. TK U MLJ LV NV

I was immediately sucked into your poem in a light-hearted sort of way, reclining with the Pashas, but soon my eyes grew accustomed to the bright sun and I began to notice the gritty reality surrounding solid ankles and a longing for the peaches that grow in what has become forbidden territory.

The art of the poem is deftly transparent triggering a flood of my own impression of a people stuck out on the burning sands.

Five.

five