All Comments on 'A Reign Of Dandelion'

on your thread and the edit is really good..Im glad you posted it and the "sound" words are perfect ;)

This is a pleasing read, but I find your choice of singular/plural verb forms disconcerting.

but couldn't help but think this could use a bit of pruning. I felt my self reading some excellent phrasing, but then bouncing off some rough spots. I loved:

"...heels that fall

like frozen drops

on astonished asphalt..."

but stumbled on:

"...untreaded for years..." wondering if you meant untread or purposely used the extra "ed".

I loved:

"...so that tufts and dandelion

greet the sun..."

but stumbled on:

"...the layer of once before

merges with the shell of now..."

And then again I do love:

"he will never get the gears

of the deep blue

my own hue

LA style cadillac

to run as smooth as he wish"

Somewhere in here is a fantastic poem, I think with a good pruning you will expose it. An excellent start...

jim : )

okay I am shallow and uneducated and should be medicated, but this was too long for my attention span. I LOVED the images, but I kind of forgot what I was reading about...and then kind of blurred out... Just my opinion, if you are looking for an audience of ADHD insomniacs, you should trim a bit. ha! Seriously, this was very cool I enjoyed the ride.

an insightful nostalgia, hints of sadness done just right

okay, that coul dbe a problem for some purists :)

down south here, especially near the shore, there are some ancestors of the first black settelrs in Charleston, in fact all along the SC coast. I have lived in this are so long, their dialects are music to my ears. It takes practice to understand... but the way Liar used this technique made it perfectly clear. when he wrote, ...(paraphrasing here)...*she going down south*...yeah, I knew what he meant, I can hear it in my neighbors' voices... :)

The feel of small town South

As the rural towns subside

And folk move to the urban sprawl

Where life beats a more frenetic pace.

A long rambling look back at another time ~ made sweeter by the evocative nature. A little long but ~ how long should Memory Lane be? Lovely Read.