All Comments on 'Accidental Vision'

taught pale skin= taut pale skin

also"The water penetrates your tired aching muscles" "penetrates" is wrong word, try warms, soothes, relaxes ?

cheers for picking up the typo :-/ I guess skin can be taught.....

The word penetrates was supposed to be a reflection of the viewers thought process, I was attempting to link what the water was doing to what the viewer wanted to do. Obviously I was a little to ambiguous

Thank you for the feed back.

better fix that typo!

It's called Sexual Harassment & inappropriate behaviour by the US Army but your poem is actually a very aesthetic paen to nude showers & i am wildly & inappropriately cheerin' in favour of your behaviour / writing !!??!!

Great one. Love the passion.

I'm with Erectus123. I saw the issues, but loved the poem nevertheless.

I'll be reading more of your stuff...

A 5 from me.

I really liked the last seven lines, and I was thinking that this poem would be a great choice for the reduction thread. It just feels to me like you could be left with a much more polished and stronger core simply by trimming words away.