All Comments on 'Always'

I need a cold shower after reading that lol

Hot stuff ;-)

I noticed a few things. First of all, basketballs dribble, not sunlight. You used "it's" six times, about six times too many. In one case, you could have wrote "But the sun's shining face burns my eyes" and eliminated two "it's" in one swoop. The best paragraphs are in the middle, where you describe the lovemaking. I gave this a "5" for intensity, but structurally it deserves a "3".