by ArjayEiff
I've had my Tazz vaccine. Once exposed you ought to be developing antibodies.
To the poem: I think the theme is good. I like the first line, because it starts out strong and conveys anger/disdain that follows. The last two lines are also interesting. The parts in between I like less. The trash cans in the alley and rough language make it seem like the woman is a hooker, and I don't think that is the intent. I could be wrong, I often am. Just my 2 cents.
Desejo
Your two cents are worth more.
I added the trashcans to try and reflect a sordid affair, a tawdry backstreet fuck that only proved the relationship was long over. The language was also deliberate, to try and compound the disdain you already picked up on.
Perhaps it needs some time in the editing oven.