tagErotic PoetryAussie Limericks 1-20

Aussie Limericks 1-20


'The limerick's an art form complex
Whose contents run chiefly to sex
It's famous for virgins
And masculine urgin's
And vulgar, erotic effects'
Rupert Hart-Davies


There was a young lady from Abbotsford
With fucking became somewhat bored
What she really liked best
Was being caressed
And the tonguing she simply adored

There was a young lady from Aberdare
Who said - 'Sir, please have a care
Your passion's quite hot
But your aiming is not
And your cum's made a mess in my hair'

There was a young lady from Aberdeen
Liked to fuck a man who was lean -
'When their stomach is thin
I get more of them in
I'm sure you know what I mean!'

There was a young lady from Aberglassyn
Got a yen for a boy, just in passin
Made a grab for his piece
He called for police
She was put on a bond for harassin

There was a young lady from Abermain
Who found she could always come again
She drained all the lads
And also their dads
Then most of the men on a train

There was a young lady from Abernethy
Whose figure's trim, taut and sassie
But when around town she jogs
She's chased by the dogs
Which she kicks - 'My name's Cathy, not Lassie'

There was a young lady from Addington
Who created huge breasts just by padding them
Which attracted the boys
Who loved tits as toys
But they left when they'd some uncladding done

There was a young lady from Adelong
Whose lover's equipment was long
So long and so thick
That when filled with his prick
She quite often would burst into song

There was a young lady from Adjungbilly
Liked boys with a well hung willy
Few hairs on their balls
And their arse none at all
But about that she was really being silly

There was a young lady from Ainslie
Said - 'There's an aspect of sex really pains me
My love, normally kind
Likes to screw my behind
When he's done with my bum he then canes me'

There was a young lady from Airds
Dreamed often and long about lairds
It wasn't their lilt
But the things 'neath their kilt
All dangly, and hairy - and bared

There was a young lady from Airly
To fuck all her boys, rose early
But queued at her gate
Were those who woke late
And felt they'd been treated unfairly

There was a young lady from Alberton
At a race, a dead cert, put her shirt on
When the nag came in last
Had the barman to ask
For a curtain to make a new skirt from

There was a young lady from Albury
Had her nipple compared with a strawberry
The left one that is
The right caused a tizz
In size, shape and taste - more blueberry

There was a young lady from Alexandra
Liked the songs sung by Francis Sinatra
Any similar crooning
Would soon have her swooning
If the words had a double entendre

There was a young lady from Alison
Had a long, hot affair with the vicar's son
But having slipped into bed
With his Daddy, she said -
'Tween father and son there's no comparison'

There was a young lady from Allandale
For leud screwing in public was in jail
Then caused much disorder
By charging each warder
And using the cash as her bail

There was a young lady from Anglesea
Took a class to improve her literacy
But her young tutor's good looks
Took her mind off the books
And she mastered a course in degeneracy

There was a young lady from Annandale
Whose virtue created a trail
Of heart-broken lads
Their brothers and Dads
They tried, how they tried - but they'd fail

There was a young lady from Antwerp
Has a bird in a cage that can't chirp
She's tried teaching it songs
It just sits all day long
Eats seeds, looks around and then burps

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