Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereWhy is it that women love bastards?
We do! And the truth of it brings
Me to my opinion it's in the Darwinian
Natural order of things.
Are such men pre-disposed to be bastards
Or tutored as babes on the breasts
To be utterly charming, deft and disarming
Till they have us enthralled and undressed?
Are there bastardy badges at boy scouts?
Are the basic skills honed whilst at cubs?
In the dark, fetid gloom of some 'Men Only' room
Is it this they're discussing in pubs?
There are husbands who'll claim that they're single
Or their wives are too frigid or grand
But the unvarnished truth is their Sybil or Ruth
Know they're bastards – and DO understand.
They'll claim that they're staying late working
When they're chatting up girls fresh from school
And at quarter past two they'll crawl back to you
Still covered in lipstick and drool.
Yet the bastard will tell you he loves you
And your dressing gown falls in a heap
But the sum of his lust's a half dozen thrusts –
Then he's dreaming of her in his sleep.
Why is it that women love bastards?
The deeper the question one delves,
The more we'll regret: it helps us forget
We're not quite so perfect ourselves!
I just found this poem and it is but freaky good. Ain't they just that? Da basterds. Tell ya' what is baby, met a few girlies in my short visit to the planet who meet the defn just more an a bits. Absolutely frickin awesomely stupendously coolio deliciously radically differentest poem about da basterd dat ever a lesbo could read. I swear if I didn't have a girlfriend . . .
this didn't get a big green E!
I loved every single strophe and have one teeny pick, did you mean "bastardly"?
I keep reading "bastardy" over and it seems not quite right, but in such a witty, well thought out poem, it is but a mote. Woman, you gots da talent and loads of it.
Great as usual doll! Well written and it cracked me up! Loved it! :)
.
.
Also loved the comment, "Are you a lesbian?"... He aparently doesn't really get your name, now does he! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!
.
.
Come visit us at the Isle of Lesbos thread in the GLBT Chatter forum. It's been too long since we "chattered"! *MUAH*
This beats a sitcom any day. Between this and Under Your Spell's "Ode to a Dung Beetle," posted today as well, I have a lot to think and laugh about tonight.
Oh well just look at it this way men were the first rough draft so there are bound to be a few glitches!
But funnily said,
In meter and rhyme-
To beat out the time.
And all of that aside, I loved the humor, wit, irony (and truth)of it-and I raised two sons dammit!
love bitches? Does Durocher's 'nice guys finish last' have anything to do with it? I think the end of the poem sums it up pretty well - we're all less than perfect. And we may have a gender bias in our characterizations.
Sapphos Sister - why did you give yourself a middle remark - is it your personal evaluation or ?
(I wish there were a way to comment without a vote, at least for the poet).
It's just a poem. It's surprising when people take it toooo personally. Maybe his wife ran away with his neighbor. Why not delete that comment, make this place much better.
light and easy. The dude below(who's a negative nancy) can't get any sort of female companion, therefore he looks for reasons to hate women on the internet(another place he can't seem to get a woman to talk to him.) I liked the drool line the best.
it's not only humour that's short of the fool, but a glimpse of irony, a little more school.
Entertainingly splendid, you set yourself a hell of a standard to maintain. Mancelt
delicious humour, perfect handling of the metre. God there are some fuckwits on ths site, men who can't laugh at themselves!
.... that the last commentator's sense of humour hasn't deserted him. Lighten up! Life's too short. Or write your own poem from the male perspective.
Sapphos Sister
Are you women lesbians? Have someone fucked you & left you when you were knocked up? Or raped you? Not all men are bastards. This "virus" of men hating is spreading on Literotica like a forest fire. Stories wasn't enough that you women started writing men hating poems?
Why DO women love bastards?! It a damned mystery to me. I can't stand em myself. Great poem. Loved it. Made me smile and think. Love the idea of the bastard badge in boy scouts.