by bronzeage
You need to post this at TF, if you haven't already.
opening the portal for those who think, TK U MLJ LV NV
whatever they said below, interesting patterns set up; 1,2,3 and 4
Blackberry summer, blackberry Sunday,
Blackberry nipples show through your shirt.
Night rain swollen blackberries hang
Blackberry s...Blackberry s...Blackberry N..s
s..Blackberries. Not as tight in the reversed image at the bottom, but nothing is perfect. Nice contrasting with white.
1,2,3 and 4
Desperate dust devils scour the pasture
for damp leaves and sticks.
Actually a ton of good stuff, very sophisticated writing technique.
I've been giving out 100's this is worth 200.
Now if some of the other jackasses would get out and vote, it should be an 'H'
i think this is probably my favourite poem of yours so far, bronze. enjoy the overlapping of visual and taste, texture and light.
Wow. This is a revelation. You need to write like this more. This is a sonically lovely and dense poem. I love the consonance. Erotic without being porn and that's fine line to walk. It's just a great poem. It's getting a recommend.
so full of luscious images and the intensity of the storm. Bravo.