by Cindersglasslipper
blank, blank, blank is too much. Boring word. Maybe change it some. Cut it back to one or two blanks. It's a small change that could improve it.
Blank
Put on the cloak of invisibility
Blank
Take off the cloak
Make an entrance
Dazzle and bedazzle
Shine your light
Smile through it all
You’re still just blank though
Your cloak is still on
They don’t see you
They never will
Why?
Because to them
You’re just and always will be
Blank
Exercising my right to: ("Love it? Hate it? Have suggestions? You can leave a public comment on this submission!)
sincerely,
unregistered and anonymous
but avid reader
To Avid, Anonymous and Unregistered reader
Whilst I appreciate your support and criticism of Blank, it was however named aptly “Blank” for a reason. The word ‘blank’ as boring and uninteresting a word as it is, was also chosen for exactly that reason. The reason behind ‘blank’ being used three times, is one of a personal nature, one in which I refuse to make comment on, in such a public forum. However I’m sure that if you contact me we can discuss the merits of using the word blank three times..
Cinderella’s Glass Slipper
Psychological invisibility's far more insidious
And deadly than any physical possibility.
I liked this different way of composing. The Blank Blank Blank seems to somehow fit the situation described in this poem. Interestingly different!
I get the feeling that you were just 'going through the motions' ...serving an obligation that you had to be there.. but yet no one acknowledges your presence.