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Click heretoday's pale milk moon lights the way
for a hope nourished path.
dreams of tomorrow's endeavers transcend.
magnetic pull,
embracing the haze of luminating love.
those who step from shadows,
filled with hunger suckle strength.
a guide when midnight blinds, truth shines.
born of a journey
through many moonless sorrows.
Metaphorically laced journey of hope
With enough promise to keep leading the reader on.
I think this poem would have benefited by being longer. The journey ends after some marvelous first steps. Nice work, I just wish there was more.
This is an excellent poem, filled with beautiful phrases. Personally I like the poem the way it is and feel "filled" sounds better than "fill." Both are good, but I don't think you should change a thing!
there are some well-chosen words here / there is a bad tense change in the third grouping, it seems to me / ~filled~ should be ~fill~, i think/
I had to look twice to see if it was really you.
: )
sparse and direct.
Some great word choices
your writing has grown by leaps and bounds.
excellent work
"hunger suckled strength"? (Which seems to be the sustenance on that well worn path I know too well.)