All Comments on 'chocolate petals'

A belated thank you.

in the same soil or time zones, hence transplants, TK U MLJ LV NV

impressed

was worried for a minute by the title, in this place chocolate and petals can both be abused, this was on

Thanks to Esperanza, raconteuse, tigerjen, Angeline, Tristesse, 1201, and Pep. All much appreciated.

I understand your intention after reading all the comments. If it is how I interpret, it is nice, but if isn't, it made me make my own interpretation, which is also nice.

Ohhhh so spare, delicious, delicately lovely. So fresh...to be absorbed in its budding beauty; not dissected. Thank you.

Very different.....well done!

Flower wasn't meant literally, and Linnaeus wasn't only the father of botanical classification; he was also the father of human classification.

Ok so I looked up Askum and Linnaeus and then understood the references in the two strophes and how the title fits the poem. I can interpret it a few different ways, which is good, but my main problem with it (and the reason I gave it a 4 instead of a 5) is that I feel the two strophes need something more to connect them up better. Without that, you're asking a lot from a reader to make connections between a flower from Ethiopia and the father of botanical classification. I'm not sure what I am to make of the association between these two things other than that they are associated. I feel like there's a piece missing. Just my opinion of course but a reader usually doesn't bring such esoteric knowledge to the reading.

I hope this isn't taken wrong, but I decided not to capitalize because I didn't want the poem to be easily accessible. I wanted people to wonder what I meant, and to solve the puzzle on their own.

.....this compact liitle poem. I know it's your style theo but capitalizing Aksum and Linnaeus might have made it more accessible to your readers. However, you've already pointed out it's very personal so my point may be moot.

Well done.

Tess + 5

This poem has a lot of meaning for me. Explaining everything would ruin the poem for the reader, I think, but it does have to do with concepts of race and beauty, among other things.

I'm sure there is a point to this, but I had to look up a word, every third line, so it approaches the "law of diminishing returns"; the risk to reward ratio is not in your favour.

well 100

but barely

that what you are saying and what I am concluding are probably two different things, however in the relationship between reader and writer...reader always wins. ~smiles~