- Erotic Poetry
- Flame
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Meanwhile, somewhere inside the terrible orphanage fire of being alive
we take the coarse flat rectangles of our tattered bedsheets
a much safer warmth twists and ties them end to end
then hangs them out the window until
our desire reaches the ground
and
then
we
climb
down
to
geth
er
and
es
cape
- COMMENTS
todski28over 3 years agothis nicely subtle erotic had a twist of loneliness used as the catalyst
to burn an evening with someone
in the hope that you can escape that feeling
I like the idea of the tattered sheets they’ve been lived in, this isn’t some first time trust but a night of two people giving to eachother even if it’s been complicated and a struggle
Dunno if it’s just my mind but a small homage to the bdsm I puke maybe highlight that with a different enjamb
I.e
a much safer warmth twists and ties
them end to end
but all in all a solid 5
Thanks for the read
Lyricalliover 3 years agoI like the gentle eroticism in this, and the way you used the form to reinforce the words. Climbing down the rope makes you slow down the read, as one might carefully descend a sheet rope, and pulls you down into the desire and the escape. This is a good one for you to return to submissions with. I hope there will be more to come.
