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Click hereJust tell me How you want me
Tell me what you want1
I am here waiting
Punch drunk with our love
Endlessly we share
Time consumes
Shielding us within
Awaiting that day
Hearts fixed
upon that hour
Darling you are mine
Always will be
Rubbing souls
Locked securely away
Hiding till that second
Drink from my lips
Suck every drop
Taste me
Hunger for my touch
Pulsating over you
Painting your shaft
Seizing your control
Sense my warmth
Dancing across you
Swirling on your hardness
Lustfully carrying us on
Demand my wantonness
Worshipping you
Capture eternity
Forever bound
Take my devotion
Swallow my essence
Thrust thru abandonment
Seize me whole
Hear my moans
Gripping bodies
Whirling overboard
Tipping the earth
Feel the sky
Blasting of juices
Fistfuls of devotion
Shuffling bodies
There upon the clouds
Hurled beyond time
Splattered eons
Staggered minds
I was with you,
my darling
Did you hear me
Did you feel me
I was right
there2
1 in "You Said 'Everything'", by CremeBrule ©2004.
2 in "A Certain Kind of Magic", by flyguy69 ©2004.
Special thanks to these poets for there poems, and gift.
This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 36,500 poems.
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'Punch drunk with our love' seemed a little cheesy to me (I was about to go have some gin on that), but you had me with original visuals with 'rubbing souls' and 'painting your shaft'. The repeating of the form of the word of 'seize' didn't do anything for me either. Then you got me again with 'splattered eons'. Overall the heat melted the things I otherwise bugged me. Excellent writing, Lil. Work it, girl!
Wordsmithing and crafting is excellent. I am there with you and in you. Thanks for the great poem!
Just tell me How you want me
Tell me what you want 1
I am here waiting
Punch drunk with our love- I just couldn't stop after these lines. I loved it all. Flowed nice and easy. Hot to trot, darling :)
A great collection here you have,
words and letters of feelings you gave.
But don't stop now more I desire,
for you capture the meaning of the fire.
Dave
LOVE YOUR WORK
wonderful~
well thought out choice of words...
shining star of a poem...
...and poet~
Lovely use of words, and to quote from others, too. Your poetry is still improving, and I thought it was already excellent to begin with. Keep improving, LilDarlin. Keep writing. Looking forward to your next submission.