All Comments on 'Good-Bye'

and think it's really strong, really well written. However I do think you could make it shine by shaping it some and editing out some of the extra words that aren't adding anything to the poem. Just my opinion, of course, and overall it's very good.

Your poem has been recommended in the New Poems Reviews thread on Literotica's Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum. Thanks for the read!

I see what Ange means in the previous comment. First, this is a much better 'goodbye' offering than most such fare I've seen here. But it could use some very careful editing of some 'filler' words — and, the, to. Too many words dampen the effects within this fine poem.

The beginning of this poem reads very musically, and I quite liked it once I began to understand the swing. If you'll not hurt me for saying so, the first half read as almost an adult (and therefore more deep and ponderous) version of Goodnight Moon. I appreciate your effort very much, though I do agree that it could benefit from a bit of editing. Thank you for sharing!