Good catch!

Introduction

Jane Austen, as the whole world knows,
Wrote her famous books in prose.
It seems the poor girl had no time
To polish them and make them rhyme;
And that is why I here rehearse
To render one of them in verse.

Pride and Prejudice

(Jane Austen did pen it.)
Elizabeth Bennett
Her prejudice couldn’t quite hide.
She thought Mr Darcy
Good looking and classy,
But full of inordinate pride.

Jane Bennett went tingly
Whenever young Bingley
Attentions to her clearly paid.
She’d only just met him,
But if she could net him
She’d not have to live an old maid.

She asked herself whether,
As mistress of Nether-
Field, anything could be more grand;
And she vowed that if she
Got him down on one knee,
She’d soon have a ring on her hand.

No girl could be giddier
Than their sister Lydia.
They thought her a silly young goose.
She put up their backs
With her morals so lax,
And behaviour both wanton and loose.

She ran off to Brighton,
Her boredom to lighten
And hoping to get herself wed.
She met Mr Whickham,
Who knew how to pick ‘em,
And soon shared his bachelor bed.

Then one fine September, E
Visited Pemberley,
Darcy’s palatial house.
There were stables and grooms,
And a lot of big rooms,
And hunting and fishing and grouse.
[see note]

Once Liz saw inside,
She forgave Darcy’s pride,
Her prejudice starting to falter.
When next he’d propose,
She’d grab him by the nose,
And drag him at once to the altar.

With much merry laughter,
Liz and Jane ever after
Were happy and rich and secure.
But what of the fellas?
Miss Austen, please tell us:
How long did their comfort endure?

***

(Lady Catherine de Burgh
I’ve had to defer,
To deal with at some other time.
Mr Collins no doubt
You’ll have guessed I’ve left out
Because I could not find a rhyme.)

****

Note: Miss Austen says that this visit took place in July, but that is a prosaic date. Had she been rhyming she would have known that it must have been September.