by foehn2
I do not know much about poetry, other than I enjoy it..but in traditional Haiku...isn't it supposed to be 5,7,5? You have here 6,7,5..Am I wrong? Either way..I really enjoyed it..thank you!
I wondered if anyone would notice. I'm not a scholar of haiku (and I don't speak or write Japanese). I believe jstherra is the resident Literotica haiku guru. English and the haiku form may actually be mutually exclusive, but English likes to be borg-like, trying everything, assimilating mercilessly. In many modern haiku journals, the 5-7-5 syllabic structure has been virtually abandoned in deference to other concerns of a short form. Keiko Imaoka wrote a very interesting article some years ago, "Forms in English Haiku". Thank you for your keen eye and your comment!
You could get about the same effect or perhaps more (plus a smile) in fewer words:
tones of rain
heavens
Best regards,