....you do your poetry justice by spacing the lines like this. I makes it stilted and awkward to read. Try experimenting with different spacing. Read lots of other poets. Keep writing, you have a good eye.
I welcome feedback, be it good or bad, as well as public comments. My stories are heavy on descriptive sex, because that's what I like to read. I've tried my hand writing across many erotic genres, and enjoyed them all. Hope you enjoy, too! Set up your toys, get comfy, and...