tagErotic PoetryHow Mistress Grinch stole Christmas

How Mistress Grinch stole Christmas


How Mistress Grinch stole Christmas
By DJ King
With apologies to the late Theodore Geisal, aka Dr. Seuss

Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas alot...
But Mistress Grinch, who lived outside of Whoville, did NOT!

Mistress Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, don’t ask me why. I don’t know the reason.
It could be She hated the colors, green and red.
It could be She preferred the holiday of Samhain instead.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that her heart was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason
For her Christmas blues
She stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
Staring down from her mountain with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in the town
For She knew every Who down in Whoville beneath
Was busy now hanging a mistletoe wreath.

“And they’re hanging their stockings!” She snarled with a sneer.
“Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”
Then She growled, with her Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!”

For tomorrow She knew...
...All the Who girls and boys,
Would wake bright and early and start singing for joy!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! noise! noise! noise!
That’s one thing She hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Then all the Whos, who were old enough to, would go back to bed.
And they’d fuck! And they’d suck!
And they’d FUCK!
They’d fuck face-to-face, in the missionary position
Which was something that the Mistress held with derision.

And the more Mistress Grinch thought about this Who-Christmas-Fuck,
The more She thought, “I must stop it, if I have any luck!”
“Why, for thirty-odd years I’ve put up with it now!
“I MUST stop this Christmas from coming!....but how?”

Then, She got an idea!
An awful idea!
Mistress Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea!

“I know just what to do!” Mistress Grinch laughed in her throat.
And She made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And She chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Grinchy trick!”
“With this coat and this hat, I’ll dress up as Saint Nick!”

“All I need is a reindeer...”
Mistress Grinch looked around.
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop Mistress Grinch...?
No! Mistress Grinch simply said,
“If I can’t find a reindeer, I’ll make one instead!”
So She called her slave, Max. Then She took some red thread.
And She tied two big dildos on the top of his head.

She loaded some bags and some old empty sacks,
On a ramshackle sleigh and She hitched up her slave Max.

Then Mistress Grinch said, “Giddap!”
And the sleigh started down
Toward the homes where the Whos
Lay a-snooze in their town.

All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Whos were all dreaming, vanilla dreams without care.
When She came to the first little house on the square.
“This is stop number one,” Mistress Grinch hissed.
And She climbed on the roof, empty bags in each fist.

Then She slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Santa could do it, then so could Mistress Grinch.
She got stuck only once, for a moment or two
Then She stuck her head out of the fireplace flue
Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row.
“These stockings,” She grinned, “are the first things to go!”

Then She slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room and She took every present!
Tickle-me-Elmos, Gameboys, and two-wheel skooters
Gifts for the Mrs., appliances and Salad Shooters
And she stuffed them in bags, then Mistress Grinch very nimbly
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!

She took down the tree and all the decorations
All the tinsel, all the lights, and presents from distant relations.
And in their place, Mistress Grinch left her mark
For her version of Christmas was decidedly dark.
She laid out handcuffs and clamps, whips and canes
All sorts of devices designed to give pains.

After getting rid of the goodies and leaving her own toys,
The kind that are only used by bad S&M girls and boys.
She heard a small sound and She saw a small little Who!
Little Dickie Who, who was no more than two.

Mistress Grinch had been caught, Little Dickie had caught her
He had got out of bed for a glass of cold water.
He stared at Mistress Grinch and said, “Santy Claus, why,
“Why did you take all of our things? WHY?”

But, you know, Mistress Grinch was so smart and so slick
She thought up an answer and She thought it up quick!
“Why, my sweet little lad,”
the fake Santy Claus said,
“All the junk that was here was really a bore!”
“So I took it away and left you with toys you’ll like more!”

And her answer managed to satisfy the child at first.
And before Little Dickie knew it and to satisfy his thirst.
When his back was turned, Mistress Grinch peed in a cup
And then She told him to take it and drink it right up.

And when Little Dickie Who went back to bed and to sleep.
Mistress Grinch went over to chimney and went up with a leap.

Then, She did the same thing
To the other Whos’ abodes
She took all of their stuff
And left them dildos.

When Mistress Grinch was all finished, She said,
“They’re in for a shock”
“When they wake up, they’ll be sad and not be able to fuck!”

It was quarter past dawn...
....All the Whos, still in bed,
...All the Whos, still asleep
When She packed up her sled,
Packed it with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags and the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!

Then she whipped her Slave Max who was pulling the sleigh
And with their extra full load they made a slow getaway
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Crumpit,
She rode with her load to the tiptop to dump it!
“Pooh-Pooh to the Whos!” She was grinchishly humming.
“They’re finding out now that no Christmas is coming!”
“They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!"
“Their mouths will hang open for a minute or two"
“Then the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!"

“That’s a sound,” grinned Mistress Grinch
“That I simply MUST hear!”
So She paused. And Mistress Grinch put her hand to her ear.
And She did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started out low. Then it started to grow...

It was the sound of whipping, of slapping and spanking
She looked down to see and could see buggering and wanking.
All the Whos down in Whoville were using her toys.
All those vanilla Whos had now turned into S&M girls and boys.

Mistress Grinch had not stopped Christmas from coming!
They came, just the same, but not the same way of cumming!

And what happened then...?
Well...in Whoville they say
That Mistress Grinch’s small heart
Grew three sizes that day.
And the minute her heart didn’t feel quite so glum,
She whizzed back down to Whoville to join in the fun!

The End
Copyright© 2000 DJK

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