I Want

I want him to come
He has access
He knows how to get in

I havent been setting the alarm
Or even locking the door at night
The idea of danger excites me

I want him to come
Without warning
To catch me unaware

I want him to scare me awake
With his weight on me
Pinning me to the mattress

I want him to whisper
“I won’t hurt you”
Like the first time

I want him
To order me to silence
As he touches me

I want his hands
His lips
Everywhere

I want him to bind me
With just his words
His mind

Forbid me to move
To speak
As he plays me

I want him to
Fuck me
Like he hates me

Before fucking me
Like he loves me
Ending gently

I want him to lick my tears away
And hold me tight until
Sleep claims me

Then he can slip away
Leaving me to wonder
If he was just a dream