All Comments on 'In the dead of night'

Each line reads like a seperate sentence, for the poem to flow you need to cut out most of the you/yours. Waves crashing on rocks and peeping moons are very clichéd and as a matter of interest why would an avenging spouse stand and watch it happen before intervening?

Well done. :)

I actually like this a lot. It had an effect on me. The comments about the cliches are good and this poem could be made better by losing some of the clutter, ditching a few of 'and' and 'the's.

there is much that is good here, but a sharper ear for cliche would help you. Tighten the lines, cut to the chase. Definite potential though. TY

The technical aspects but not the substance of this piece have been covered very well in previous comments. This is a simple address. The speaker is talking to his victim, who we soon learn is either dead or dying. Cuckoldry is a very old topic and it is hard to bring new words to the subject. This one does not do this and in the process uses the wrong words as well. The spouse is not "angry", he is jealous. There is a difference. He is not "avenging", he is murdering. Since the poem is written in first person, the character can express it in anyway the author likes, but the careful reader will recognize the unreliable words.

Surprise, surprise. More spurious observations, this time from the pen of bronzeage. His fatuous comments are both arrogant and disrespectful. His assumptions that the killer falls neatly into his preconceived generalisation shows a basic lack of understanding of the complexity of the human brain. The man in the poem was angry and he committed an act of retribution. I am not averse to criticism but find it difficult to accept from those for whom I have little respect. The substandard efforts of the likes of bronzeage, fridayam and UnderYourSpell fall a long way short of earning even a modicum of respect. Their petty snipings have little direct effect on me but I am concened that their views, particularly when expressed in hectoring tones, will effect others.

I do not consider my comments to be in hectoring tones, if you don't want other peoples honest opinions why are you posting to a public board and leaving your comments box open? Why do you think you know more and write better than anyone else? We are all learning on here from each other and from the comments posted, which on my own I take onboard with good grace something you could learn to do. Make your way to the forum and learn, instead of making out you are above everybody else as you told me by email.

CuddlyPal, you have yet to submit a categorical 'poem'. You're just submitting sentences in a column. There are elements to poetry that differentiates it from prose. Read the thread in the Poetry Feedback Board entitled: "Prose Poetry is Over"

now here is a poet that could right any one of you forum hoots under a tableau. A SOLID 5