All Comments on 'It's an odd wind'

by wildsweetone

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  • 9 Comments
Bill DadaBill Dadaover 18 years ago
~

I agree with highnoon+, mint-vinegared is on the bizarre side, of course that's my favorite side and ditto the last two lines.

Maria2394Maria2394over 18 years ago
different

eerie, almost. I hate the score thing, because I think it is closer to 95 than 75,but I didnt want to hit 100% and have only voted a 4.

I might suggest one tiny change.

where you have "mint-vinegared", try it without the - ed on vinegar. It makes it softer, just by the deletion of the hard "d" sound

the rest of the poem seems fem throughout ( regardless of the sex of the bird, lol)

.

I really enjoyed this, made me think of howling winds and halloween :)

LeviluvLeviluvover 18 years ago
.

my slanted green eyes stalk

the neighbours’ silky bantam.

Awesome write!

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
#=#

Your poem was mentioned in the new poems review thread.

Tess

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Some nice changes...

...you've made here, WSO. "Sometimes roasts float/on the breeze" is, I think, quite good. I also agree with 1201 that the last two lines are excellent.

tz

LeBrozLeBrozover 18 years ago
~~

The wind's not odd,

it's pure innocence;

it's the reader

and writer that are out there,

looking for ~ something.

A nice write.

duckiesmutduckiesmutover 18 years ago
*

I like the changes you made to tie the ending in with the rest of the poem.

My Erotic TaleMy Erotic Taleover 18 years ago
odd

nice write, odd wind blew from the mouth of 12 for everything is bizzare to that one <grin> perhaps that is because they are bizzare <bigrin>

I found this poem to be very good (my opinion of course) but ...nice write

twelveoonetwelveooneover 18 years ago
*

mint-vinegared?

A little on the bizarre side - last two lines - killer

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