by cavu182
I have enjoyed your poetry. I loved this one because it had an element of String Theory attached to it. I do have one question, in line 11, are you certain about the word "proceeded?" It somehow feels wrong...anyway, I think you could have ended the poem with the line that blew me away---
"Does anyone really know what time it is?"
Now that is a profound question and it earned a spot on my favorites list. Really good work, just needs some tightening up.
I'd love to read more poetry from you along this line of thought.
~ maria
you are certainly correct, preceded not proceeded ... --- gotta talk to my editor!
J
But I agree with the previous comment - the "Does anyone really know what time it is" line hits hard, and should be showcased somehow. Enjoyed this.