Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereHere are a few Golden Oldies. Just like this author.
There one was a girl named Alice
Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Dallas.
There once was a girl from France
Who boarded a train in a trance
Everyone fucked her
Except the conductor
Who shot a big wad in his pants.
There once was a maid from Dundee
Who was raped by an ape in a tree
The result was horrid
All ears and no forehead
Three balls and a purple goatee.
There once was a hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
He said I'll admit
I'm a bit of a shit
But look at the money I save.
There once was a queer from Khartoum
Who took a lesbian up to his room
They argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what and with which and to whom.
There once was a man named McGruder
Who met her nude and he wooed her
She thought it was crude
To be wooed in the nude
But McGruder was shrew and her screwed her.
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who's cock was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
If my were a cunt I'd fuck it.
As I sit with my hand on my dick
Watching a hot lesbo flick
Where Dixie tells Dee
“I really need to pee”
And proceeds to do something quite sick
There once was a man from Kent
Whose cock was so long that it bent
To save himself trouble
He made it double
And instead of cuming, he went.
I notice no mention of Nantucket.
I would say I am disappointed, but, uhm, maybe not.
A point of family pride has always been that my father did his masters thesis on limericks.
Thank you gor posting some classics
They're old but they're not quite Jurassics
Mine are live flesh
'Cause I write them afresh
I humbly think mine are kickassics
The insomniac sharpens her Rhyme Axe
It's quarter past three on her Timex
She must rest her mind
But first must unwind
Use her dildo to jill, bro, and climax
She strips down and then hits the bong
She leaves nothing on but her thong
She slides it aside
On her toy she joyrides
Then screams out her orgasmic song
There once was a southern belle named Gwen
Who said "Johnny Reb lost his yen
To impale Dixie tail
Since impalers would fail
But the South, suh, is risin' again!"