Limerick Challenge Contest

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Some goodies for the oldsters.
232 words
4.31
664
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9
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Here are a few Golden Oldies. Just like this author.

There one was a girl named Alice
Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Dallas.

There once was a girl from France
Who boarded a train in a trance
Everyone fucked her
Except the conductor
Who shot a big wad in his pants.

There once was a maid from Dundee
Who was raped by an ape in a tree
The result was horrid
All ears and no forehead
Three balls and a purple goatee.

There once was a hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
He said I'll admit
I'm a bit of a shit
But look at the money I save.

There once was a queer from Khartoum
Who took a lesbian up to his room
They argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what and with which and to whom.

There once was a man named McGruder
Who met her nude and he wooed her
She thought it was crude
To be wooed in the nude
But McGruder was shrew and her screwed her.

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who's cock was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
If my were a cunt I'd fuck it.

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The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
9 Comments
Anton79Anton797 months ago

As I sit with my hand on my dick

Watching a hot lesbo flick

Where Dixie tells Dee

“I really need to pee”

And proceeds to do something quite sick

JustplainjeffJustplainjeff7 months agoAuthor

There once was a man from Kent

Whose cock was so long that it bent

To save himself trouble

He made it double

And instead of cuming, he went.

RRC2RRC27 months ago

I notice no mention of Nantucket.

I would say I am disappointed, but, uhm, maybe not.

A point of family pride has always been that my father did his masters thesis on limericks.

enbijienbiji7 months ago

Thank you gor posting some classics

They're old but they're not quite Jurassics

Mine are live flesh

'Cause I write them afresh

I humbly think mine are kickassics

The insomniac sharpens her Rhyme Axe

It's quarter past three on her Timex

She must rest her mind

But first must unwind

Use her dildo to jill, bro, and climax

She strips down and then hits the bong

She leaves nothing on but her thong

She slides it aside

On her toy she joyrides

Then screams out her orgasmic song

bruce1971bruce19717 months ago

There once was a southern belle named Gwen

Who said "Johnny Reb lost his yen

To impale Dixie tail

Since impalers would fail

But the South, suh, is risin' again!"

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