All Comments on 'Living, a Slender Thread'

Congratulations, your exposition sticks to its rhyming structure without having to twist into pretzel form to make the rhyming stick. My only suggestion is that it would be visually more appealing broken into strophes. It also would be easier to read {and less intimidating} to approach it with all those bite-size pieces {strophes}. I'll check the other products of your mind later to see how your other poems go.

Hmm. I am normally against hard rhyming (rhyming at the end of every line) but this isn't too bad. Play a little bit more with assonance, break this up, and look at your sentence structure - You're twisting your words around a little to MAKE the rhyme happen - I tend to like it when it just feels like it flows. Unobtrusive, you know.

Don't pay too much attention to the thermometer - i don't use it.

A LOVELY POEM,CAPTURING LIFE,I WISH I COULD WRITE ONE AS GOOD,THANK YOU MAGGIE,IAN.