All Comments on 'Love Me'

First of all I am going to offer my feedback based upon what I perceive to be you lack of understanding of the difference between BDSM and rape. One is a chosen lifestyle, the other is a heinous crime. Based upon this supposition, this piece, with some work, could be quite good. As it stands it is a bit disjointed and jumbled. I’d probably rearrange several of the lines to progress differently (i.e. “Rape me till I’m naked” should be before “Rape me until it gets boring”). PLEASE remove the line “Rape my children and my childrens children.” Unless, it is your intent, this line will make virtually every woman in the world immediately hate and discount your poem.

SB, glad you mentioned the children line. I was thinking that it wasn't meant to be taken literally. Though, now I'm not sure. As far as bdsm, I really don't see it in this poem.

maybe you're taking artistic/poetic license here, and being metaphorical. i don't know. you've titled your poem 'love me', and then proceed to leave love out of the poem. furthermore i find equating rape with love, less than palatable.....and that is a gross understatement. the mention of children in this piece,(no matter your intent) doesn't go down well, and leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

if what you're looking to convey, is a consentual rough sex encounter, you might want to more fully explore what that is, in truth. rape, it is not. this poem is salvageable, with a better understanding of your own words.

I had to assume that, like the rest of it, the reference to children was metaphorical. I actually really liked this piece, mainly because of its intensity. Whatever else can be said about it, you're pulling no punches here. Perhaps I'm reading in more than what is intended, but I'm seeing a lot of potential depth in the ideas.