Marked

You left me
Bruised
Breathless
Lost
In the echo of
The noises
That tore from
My throat as
You lashed
My skin

Only you
Understand
Accept
Indulge
My need
To be hurt

I trust
No one
Other than you
With my pain
My tears
My limits

You know
I struggle with
Using our
Safewords
I always want more
Than I can handle

When I trap them
Behind clenched teeth
When I hold them
Deep in my thrashing body
When I swallow them
With dry gulping breaths
You call
Yellow
For me

You ask if I need to stop
And even though I
Hide my eyes and
Spit the word
No
You hear
The red in my voice
You see
That I am teetering
On the edge of
Too much
And you stop
And pull me
Against you

Your hand
Embracing my
Throat
Is a comfort
Soothing me
Reminding me
I am safe
I can rest

You hold me
Anchor me
Until the shaking
And the sobbing
Ease
Until my mind
Settles and
I come back
From the place
I go
Only with you

I untangle myself
From your arms
Press my hot back
Against the cool sheets
Turn my face towards you
I blink my eyes open to
Look at you and you say,
You’re smiling
And I say,
Of course I am

Only then
Do you tongue the pain
Into pleasure
Leaving me gasping
Again

Reality settles in.
I ask what time it is.
11:11, you say,
Make a wish

We both know
I wish
You could stay
We both know
You can’t

Every time
You leave
It is always
Too soon
I always
miss you

This time
Your car is still
In my driveway
Your scent is still
On my sheets
On my skin
And already
I miss you

But at least I have
The marks
You left me with

Not just on
My body
Those will fade

But long before
The flogger fell
You deeply and
Permanently
Left your marks
In my
Mind and
On my
Heart