Roller Coaster Kisses

Author’s note: This is my 100th poem on this platform. I get lots of questions about my poetry here. Is he real? Am I really in a Throuple? How does it work? Do I love him? Does he love me? Do I love her? How much does she know? I love that my poems are sparking these questions. I love that people want to know more. I love having a safe space to share work that I cannot share amongst my real life friends or in my small suburban community. If this is your first poem of mine, welcome and thank you for reading. I invite and encourage you to read the other 99, And please do leave your comments, I read and appreciate all of them. If you’re going back to read more, I think it would make the most sense to read in date order rather than alphabetically or randomly. My body of work tells a continuing story over time. And there is one piece in particular that foreshadows this one just a bit. So if you’re only going to pick one before this one, I suggest Sharing Him. Those of you who’ve read it before will hear it’s echo in this one. And as with all my poems, If you listen closely you will hear the whisper of truth answering your questions hiding safely within the fiction. Thank you for reading my work, for so many five star ratings for so many positive comments and messages 💜

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I’ve written
100 poems
in the last
18 months,
mostly about
fucking you
but more so about
trying so hard
to not fucking
love you.

You are a
roller coaster.
terrifying
exhilarating
addicting and
such a fun ride.

There are always
moments
when my glasses come off
and my hair is wild
and my hands are tight
on your body
and I forget how to
breathe
without
your breath
in my mouth
and the sounds
that come out of me
are voiced by someone
I don’t recognize

And right when
the fear is
almost too much
you do something
to remind me that
I am safe with you

And that somehow
in the midst of our
crazy throuple life,
that somehow
even though we are
somewhat a secret,
I am still
in some ways
yours.

Last night
while my mouth
was working you
to the point of dirty talk
you said
“That’s my girl”
and I had to
take a break from
sucking you
because I couldn’t stop
the smile and
later when we were
finished and coming down
from the high of the ride
spooning
resting
snuggling

You
kissed
my
shoulder.

My. Shoulder.
And I had an
Oh fuck
heart stopping
moment and
I felt that kiss
like a brand,
like a tattoo,
and I will wear
the echo of

That. Kiss.

knowing
with absolute evil joy
that now I get
your kisses
not just
on my mouth and
on my cunt but also

On. My. Shoulder.

From now on
whenever she tells me
that you went home
to her and
kissed
her fucking shoulder
before going to sleep
next to her
I will smile and think
Bitch,
he kissed mine too.

I love
knowing
she is not
the only one getting
your affectionate
protective kisses
and
I love
knowing
I am the
only one
getting your
hot
dirty
sexy
kisses

That kiss
on my shoulder
was the moment
at the top
of the drop.
It was the moment
I knew
no matter how scary or
fucked up
this ride is,
it’s worth it.
Because even if
you can’t admit it
You love this ride
as much as I do.

There’s something
interesting about
riding
this roller coaster
with you
about the moments after
the ride is done
and we are laughing
and holding onto each other

The moments when I think
that was fun but
it’s too scary so
I’m never doing that again
and then I look at you
and I see the way
you look at me
and I know
that I am
that we will
that we can’t not
even though I worry
that one day
the we will fly off
the fucking track.

Nearly 100 rides
in 18 months
and even when they leave me,
when you leave me,
shaking, crying or laughing,
I still can’t wait
to ride you
to write about you
to love you
again and
again

Because the ride
is worth the worry
the ride is
the escape from
reality
the break from
life on the ground
and the only time
in our crazy days
that we get to
fly free.
I really don’t think
I would want to
ride with
anyone else.

Everyone has a
ride or die.
And I say it’s her.
But sometimes
I think
She might be
my ride to the
amusement park
But you are the
point of the trip.
You are the
roller coaster
that brings me to
her amusement park.
You are the ride
worth the risk.

I never realized
how much I love
roller coasters
until I started to ride
with you.