All Comments on 'Masters whore'

First of all, great! Second of none, I notice a recurrent theme in these poems, that cats are more often than not found in a state of wetness. This must be most distressing for our feline friends, particularly as they are often discovered 'neath the petticoats of ladies of ill repute. But why must they be wet? Chained up, purrhaps, but wet I ask? It is miaowtifying, cat-astrophic, and simply uncalled for. I have big tits (being a cat I love chasing the blue titties around our garden) - call me on 0800 00 1066.

Thirdly, we must discuss literary merit. I FINK YOU'RE POIM IS LIKE WELL FIT AND WANT TO PHUCK IT.

Fourthly, great!

Love,

Richard Littlejohn, Daily Mail Newspaper, UK.

P.S. I would very much appreciate photographic evidence that you are human, not a giant insect. This will help with my investigation.