by Ms M
M is not for mistake, but your first Lit poem is full of them.
Your poem contains quite a few awkward constructions,
as well as some misspellings ("entwinded" = "entwined")
There are a few verb/subject mismatches also.
And an overabundance of "of"s.
You should really get a friend to edit your work for you.
Find an editor and keep on reading and writing.