All Comments on 'Missing the dawn'

lovely words expressing a pain too many in life end up feeling!

be well!

this isn't bad, boy does it tiptoe the blance beam of cliche though. It doesn't quite jump right in it, but it has the capability of doing so, and that had me worried, I'm glad you held the line. I'd get rid of the last word "you" it makes the poem more poignant and embroils me, the reader, in longing as well as missing.

I like your use of light on the wall a lot, however, when you say it is just the time that passes on to tomorrow, I want the light to BE time, and so read it instinctively without the word "the". And the last line "missing you" takes the poem into the more literal which it hadn't been up until then, so it deflated the poem for me. Other than that, I think it's a good solid poem that can be related to emotionally and visually.

that we might actually like your all of a sudden passion suddenly version better... eep! Your editing watered the intensity down on some level.

I was off the internet and I told her the wrong poem and poet. Sorry, dood.