Poem From a Follower

"I Finally Found a Guy that I Couldn't Put Down"

I finally found a guy that I couldn't put down...
Right now all I can do is think about him.
He makes me feel different than I ever have before.
In the history of every guy I've talked to
he's the one that made me unsure on what
to even call the emotion he gave me.

I'm sure you're wondering what I mean
but there's no words to even describe it.

It's like electricity flowing through every blood vessel in my body
It's like that good feeling you get when you help an animal find it's home
It's that warm goosebumps feeling when you drink hot cocoa while it's snowing
It's that safe feeling you get when your favorite person holds you
It's when you focus well enough to see the little things, like raindrops on roses petals.
It's that thing that should have been described as love...
but when I think about it everyone uses that word now.

Now it has lost any meaning it once had.
Right now love means that you're in a relationship with another person,
almost a requirement but no one will admit it.
Even though if you don't say it you're judged.

When I tell you this guy makes me feel those things
he does and he makes me feel so so much more.

I can't explain it but I want to, I want everyone to know
that this feeling exists and to give it another word.

Perhaps, "One beautiful and long chrysanthemum-like obsession."

When he talks to me I hang on every word like a puppy that follows it's owner.

When he tells me something new about him I quickly jot it down so that in years and years from now I can look back and say yes I remember that he loved to protect and take care of me simply because that's the man he is not because he will get a reward or pat on the head.

I want everyone to see what being with someone you're meant to be with may bring.

Because I finally found a guy that I couldn't put down and if it's alright with you I'd like to keep what I found.

---

The above was sent to me by a young woman I was communicating with in 2022 on Fetlife, and then via phone and video chat. I wanted to fly to her and rescue her from her circumstances (which was abusive) but she had the mindset of the trauma victim ("My life is normal even if it appears to be totally fucked up from the outside so don't be nice to me or I will suddenly realize that my life is not normal.") and cut it off before that could happen. It was sad but I was honored and humbled for her pure desire and love and (yes) infatuation.

In loving honor of R*****e. You inspired me to write erotica for you.