by case28
Thank you so much for your great feedback, I'm actually pleasantly surprised by the response.
Yipes! Vegans be warned! I think this stretches the limits of metaphor but that is part of the intent.? Healing her butcher/with cleaver blow? I like the alternative word usage. I like how you have done your line breaks - it would be a very different poem if they were done differently. Certainly appropriately titled in any case...high marks for creativity.
Gewurz-tram-in-er is a German wine that I never cared for but it works so well! All the marbles.
I was not inclined to leave one, probably on first sight alone.
I like it raw
and short lines and excess of hyphens and the end looks like a disaster. However it does have it's moments
see that is the cool thing about comments, sometimes you get one that disagrees
don't worry score didn't suffer
hesitant 5
with the meat and sushi references underscoring the erotica. Great read. Thank you.
I'm going to recommend your poem on Lit's Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum, here:
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=904458