Sexy Rhymes for Woke Adults - 3

Food for THOT

Painting my nails on Saturday morning
The rain outside’s pouring, my life is sooo boring.
This player he pings 10 days after he ghosted
me on a night when I was supposed to have hosted.

He says that I blocked him... dunno if that’s true.
So why won’t he text me when I’m feeling blue?
All these players the same they’re like “here for u girl”
then the next thing you know he’s gone like a squirrel.

Makes me want to hurl, I thought I was the bitch
but your bullshit makes me want to put you in a ditch.
So guess what, now I’m switch, put your ass in the air!
What’s that? You don’t want to? Well I don’t fucking care.

What the fuck tho it’s hairy? Ew that shit is scary.
It’s like the Black Forest there I’d better be wary.
Ok I was wrong, it was a bluff all along,
I’ll keep my dick in my dress k? Just where it belongs.

You need better hygiene I’m telling you now,
that won’t take a dick it needs a fucking plow.
So you do want to bottom? Oh it was all just an act.
Well we’d all better start with a hack and some tact.

Don’t fill my inbox with pics of your dicc,
I want pics of your ass and it better be thicc,
and it better be smooth and it better be clean
and it better be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.

It better be shaped like a queen’s teenage dream -
put a cherry on top, cover it with whipping cream.
Sundaes on Sundays let’s serve it up sweet,
your ass is the treat that I’m wanting to eat.

What does it mean when someone says yeet?
I don’t know I’m near forty I don’t even tweet.
Oh no out the window rain’s turning to sleet.
It’s cold in here maybe I’ll turn up the heat...

lol giggle giggle let’s meet on the down-low,
at a place in the forest that only we know,
with green trees above and water below,
one of those places to go with the flow.

We both brought a blanket?
We’re kings among men.
Lay it down on the wood
just like that ya that’s good.

Snuggle up by the river
my body’s a-quiver
I want you to giver
I’m starting to shiver.

Hands on the railing
I might get a sliver.
You start with the nailing
dick me up to my liver.

A train goes by wailing.
Can they see us impaling?
The blast lingers trailing;
your dick isn’t failing.

The rush begins low
and the build up is slow
but by taking your time
you make it grow and grow.

Now i’m starting to growl,
it comes out like a howl.
Was that just an owl?
I hope you brought a towel.

I almost can’t take it;
your dick it might break it.
It’s so hard I can’t fake it,
but I think i might make it.

I flex and I buck.
I want something to suck.
Your dick covered in muck?
If it’s not you’re in luck.

Sit down in your chair,
I’m on my knees bare,
caressing my hair
not a second to spare.

Every cock in the forest
had better beware!
I suck with abandon
without slightest of care.

Like that in a jiffy you cum on my face.
Not looking so spiffy my make-up’s a disgrace.
I’m in outer space as we snuggle up close,
taking in the moment we wanted the most.

And next week’s the same but in a different place -
meet me on the mountain there’s no time to waste.
If you want to connect then you’d better make haste;
the waitlist is getting longer and you’re taking up space.

So if you want to see me dressed up in lace,
done up like a goddess and looking all ace,
the next time I invite you over to my place,
you better show up you fucking disgrace.