Shipping Forecast Induction

And now the Shipping Forecast, issued by the Met Office on behalf of the Maritime and Coastguard Agency at 0048 today.

There are warning of gales in Viking, North and South Utshire.

The general synopsis: Low, Northwest Tyne, Reader, 1002, losing its identity by 0050. New low expected at Rockall at the same time.

The area forecast for the next 3 minutes. Viking, North Utshire, South Utshire, North, 8, occasionally 9 in Northeast Viking, Showers, Good.
Fourties, Cromarty, Forth, East, 6 occasionally 7 later, showers later, fog patches at first.
Tyne, Dogger, South West, 4 to 6, Showers, Emptying, Moderate, becoming good.
Fisher, West, 7 dropping quickly to 5, Showers, Moderate to Good.
German Bight, Mind, South Easterly, 6 sinking to 5, Rain, Good.
Humber, Thames, Dover, North to North East, 5 dropping rapidly to 3, Blank, reasoning: poor.
Wight, Portland, Intellect, South moving Southwest, 4 or 5, Rain or Showers, Moderate to Good girl.
Biscay, South Finesterre, Brain, North changing East, 3 or 4, decreasing steadily, rain or increasing emptiness, good.
North Finesterre, Sole, Soul, East changing South East, 4 dropping to 2, blank and peaceful, mental faculties moderate to poor.
Lundy, Fastnet, Irish Sea, South East, 2 or 3, controlled, good.
Shannon, Rockall, Cognition, Malin, 1 or 2, rain later blissful, resistance poor, obedience good.
Hebredies, Bailey, Focus, Fair Iles, South, 3 dropping imminently to 1, showers, empty and controlled, moderate to obedient.
Faeroes, Power of Thought, Southeast Iceland, South, 1 occasionally 0, relaxed and mindless, good.

Here ends the shipping forecast for 0050 the reader is advised to sink and empty completely, becoming entirely obedient.