All Comments on 'Sinking Deep'

I agree about the plethora of commas and I'm itching to take out the capital letters starting each line, which I think would make it read much smoother. But these are nit picks because I really like the style of this piece. Thanks for the read.

Tsotha hit the nail on the comma though.

Really good rhythm

I was immediately hooked with "mother fuckers".

my type of song

Nice, I like the rhymes. And I don't even like rhymes. Good job. :)

Now, the punctuation... It distracted me, I almost felt like copy-pasting it elsewhere to remove all commas before reading.

I'm liking your rhymes and near rhymes more and more, pelegrino. This is smart. It made me chuckle, but still made a serious point.

"Plotters" and "waters" worked well together, but "convoy trackers" seemed like it was inserted just to near-rhyme with "mother fuckers" unless, of course, "convoy trackers" has a unique meaning I'm unaware of.