All Comments on 'Submission'

It would sound better if you would add more to the lines.

Example:

The phone rings

My heart starting pounding (or racing)

I heard her voice soft and clear.

My hands tremble

With my breath being impaired

Since her voice was in my head (or still in my head)

(still on my mind?)

It was kind of hard for me in these lines because who was the one doing what? Was it her or you? I'm kind of guessing, assuming it was you. It would've been nice to see you write it out though.

Over-all, good read.